Speckles n Spectrum

Why is rebounding inhumane?

So you just had your heart wrenching breakup then the next day you're back in the dating scene wanting to find another human who will fix your broken heart… familiar? Yes it’s called rebound. My point of view says rebounding is inhumane. You haven’t healed yet here you are flirting with yet another victim. I say NO to rebound, it makes me sick. Please be considerate enough that the next person you are going to date right after your break up is a clear victim of your circumstances. The right way to heal is not dating right away. Take time to reflect, rethink, review, reevaluate what went wrong in your previous relationship that way you will be able to figure out what happened and how to prevent it from happening again. Rebounding victimized the next person after the breakup. You will bleed in a slight instance of the same situation you experienced with your previous partner and unhealed people tend to bleed everywhere without proper healing. Take time to know yourself more, understand your feelings, heal your inner child, introspect, retrospect, analyze, regulate, calm your nervous system and anything else that can address all the hurt and wash it off with realizations.

Rebounding is cruel because you start on an uneven ground. The next person will suffer from your instability, confusion, hurt, and all sorts of feelings that haven't been addressed yet from a fresh breakup. Rebounds rarely last because of these factors. It’s unfair for the next person to be there and just comfort you for most times you are still bleeding. Never date anyone when you haven’t had any peace in your life because it will only cause temporary relationships. If you really love yourself, take the time to heal on your own. You don’t need an immediate replacement, you need more time to know yourself better. The right one will come along when you are already whole and ready to love not in fragments but wholeheartedly. May you all heal through God’s grace. I’m bouncing off.

Your kids will never have the option to choose their father but you can always choose the father of your kids. And that’s a fact you can never ignore or just shoved away or brush off. When society just tells you that it’s just okay to settle for someone as long as they make you happy is bullshit. Choosing the right person is very integral in your lifelong success in this world. A partner doesn’t just need to have money, money is a necessity but it won’t suffice in the long run. You need a partner that has the capacity to accommodate all your needs. Who can understand you even in chaos and confusion. Who stays calm and collected when you have a sudden outburst. When you are having tantrums or you're angry a perfect partner is someone who can regulate you or calm you, not get angrier when things are getting out of hand. You need someone who speaks respect, peace, and relaxes your nervous system not make you flair up more. 

Mind you DNA and genes are important too. Remember most things are hereditary, you wouldn’t want bad manners inherited by your offspring. That short fuse, that criminal and vindictive mind, that rudeness, the unethical ideologies, the disrespectful behavior, etc. You know what I mean. There might be things that might not be hereditary but remember kids learn from witnessing behavior and actions and bad manners might not be hereditary but it’s observable and acquirable, and you don’t want that ever. I don’t know about you but I don’t want those characteristics passed on to my kids, not now, not ever.

This isn’t just about finding the right partner, it's also about doing the work to be the right partner. Finding the better half is becoming the better half as well. You can't attract someone if you haven’t worked on becoming the right one too. This goes both ways. You don’t have the right to demand something you yourself can’t put on the table too. Relationships are not always fairy tales, they have their ups and downs and the one thing you need is a person who makes it more difficult and complicated. You need someone who’ll be there to ease the pain and balance things out, someone who will share the burden not add to it and you need to be someone who’s willing too to share the load and not to add more to it. You both need to share the same values and moralities and be willing to be partners in crime to make this relationship work. It’s not rocket science, it's just a matter of true love. Love may not be enough but it is enough to wholeheartedly change for the better. May you all find the love that you truly deserve. Ciao.

Who do you think is the catalyst of corruption?

If you are going to ask Filipinos who is to blame for widespread corruption in the Philippines, you’ll eventually get the common answer: the politicians. But let me enlighten you—corruption did not just spring up overnight; it happened gradually. Let me open your mind to the root cause of this problem. It’s not a politician who started it. Ready to be awakened? Here we go.

Remember that small favor you asked—maybe a case of beer because it was your birthday? A few cents for your merienda? Or those uniforms for your basketball league? Do these things ring a bell? Of course they do. Your small favors during the campaign sessions, taken out of a running candidate’s own pocket, are the true triggers of corruption. Who would spend millions out of their own pocket during an election and not retrieve it back from the government’s vault once they are already in position?

You think 500 pesos is enough to sell your vote? Yes, 500 is enough for a day’s meal, but what will happen in the coming days? If you think a politician started the culture of corruption in the Philippines, I kid you not, because they didn't. It was the citizens who started it all. Small favors in exchange for big ones—like your dignity, your entire family tree's descendants' freedom from debt, and your overall quality of life.

Your loyalty to a personality won’t do any good for you when all they want is to gain back what they spent during the election period. 500 pesos in exchange for the whole country’s suffering. It’s ironic that when you watch your K-Dramas or teleseryes, you know exactly which side to take—of course, you side with the protagonist because they fight for what is right and moral. But why can’t you see that the politicians you are worshiping aren't the protagonists in this decades-long story of corruption? Why is it that in beauty pageants we hold the highest standards for the winner, but you are all blindsided when it comes to your public servants? Why are you just brushing off the reality that you started this culture of corruption? Until you keep ignoring the red flags and change your ways, we will forever be stuck in this black hole.

Stop soliciting from politicians; your birthday celebration is not their obligation. Stick to what is right. The only thing that we should ask from people in power is good governance and the proper use of our tax money for services, infrastructure, and the vital needs of the citizens—like education, healthcare, and public safety. Your personal needs, like birthday parties and any other personal occasions in your life, do not require tax money. It's personal, so stop asking government officials for your whims and start working your ass off to fulfill your wants.

As a citizen of this country, we have a duty to the Philippines to act as responsible members. We are here to help our country progress, not add to its burden. When we all change our ways and start acting like responsible citizens, we will be able to eliminate corruption and other illegal activities. Start by voting with dignity, then clean up your act. We are no longer kids, so act like a mature adult with accountability. This isn't a blame game. This is an awakening. Gising, Pilipinas, Gising!

MYTH DEBUNKED: If during a toast you don’t look at the eyes of the other person you're toasting you will have 7 years of bad sex?

Let’s debunk this myth. I don’t know how people have these kinds of beliefs when there’s no scientific correlation to it. Let me break it down to you gently and carefully. Having sex is an art. It’s a form of intimate self expression and by mentioning self for me it’s personal and it’s all up to you. Your sex life does not depend on looking at someone's eyes while clinking glasses. It’s a matter of how well you know yourself. Having a successful sex life is all up to you. Yes, you heard it right the only main element for it is: YOU!

How does self awareness make this all work? First you start to know how you pleasure yourself. Knowing all your kinks, your G-spot, everything that triggers your sensuality and your wild fantasies. When you all have discovered that then no man if you were a woman will ever fail to satisfy you in bed or vice versa. 

Here’s the key. When you know how to pleasure yourself you can teach anyone to pleasure you all you have to do is communicate and tell them where’s the sweet spots and boy, you’ll hit heaven every time you ride the plane. 

But I guess this works only for normal sex but for people that are specifically DEMISEXUALS it’s a little bit complicated. You need more of an emotional connection to reach heaven. No matter how good their partners are in bed it won’t work if they are not in love with them. But then bottom line it’s still always been YOU!

Twas the day of 13th month pay and people at work liked to celebrate that day with a little team feast. This time the whole team wanted a different feast, not that usual pizza, pasta, burgers, donuts, and what not. We decided to prepare pancit canton, malunggay pandesal, eggs, and soft drinks. We had the greatest time eating it but not that I know of. There’s this girl in our team that’s complaining why we had those foods instead of the usual ones. She said “nagmukha tuloy tayong mahirap.” 

WTF! If only I can tell her that it’s not about the food it’s the fulfillment of gathering that’s more important. It doesn’t matter how cheap or expensive the meal is, it’s about the people who simply enjoy your company and any food is a blessing no matter what it is. 

Let  me tell you that it’s not the food that makes you cheap, it’s your mindset. I honestly love poor people’s food (if they want to call that poor people’s food, so be it) like salted egg with tomatoes, sardines, dried fish, eggplant, tofu, and pancit canton. People that know me know how I love those foods and I eat it anytime regardless whether I have money or not and they never tell me that I look poor when consuming those foods. They are even amazed that I eat those kinds of foods. So I know for a fact that having seen in public eating the so-called “poor foods” don’t make me look poor. They make me simple and humble. They make me human and relatable. And in her case she said it made her look poor probably because she really looks poor. So why blame “pancit canton” if you look “dugyot naman talaga, nasisi pa tuloy yung fave ko” since highschool. 

Some people are so full of themselves that they can’t accept their reality. This girl is way too “mapagpanggap.” Why can’t you just be real? Our team was laughing at her because she’d been seen eating “pancit canton” almost everyday. Aha, so maybe she’s just too “umay” about it, the same thing the others feel towards the usual food she’s requesting to have for the team lunch. If you are a really rich girl you should be “umay” with pizza, pasta, burgers, donuts, and whatnots. Stop pretending na kasi haha. Tara kain na lang tayo ng “pancit canton” ulit. Mic drop.

I woke up this Monday morning at 6:30 am in the calendar year of May 25, 2026 to a facebook notification regarding the Camarines Sur’s Kaogma Festival clash of ideologies through the comment of Klasik Titos and Titas of Manila in Joy Barcoma's page against the post of Jeriel Agua. Honestly, I don’t know these people but I’ve done my checking so here’s the gist and my unbiased but well aware of the situation point of view being a native of Naga City, so yes I'm a Bicolana currently residing in Pasig City. (Screenshots taken from their FB.)

I’ve got a back story. Twas the summer of 1994 and I was playing outside our house when the San Pascual basketball team approached me to become their muse. At that time I’m super shy and had no confidence so all I did was run towards the house and hid in our restroom. They begged my Papa and he tried to convince me but I said I’m not going to get out unless the boys are no longer there. They tried to get my middle sister but she didn’t want to. They can’t do anything so they just settled for my cousin who agreed with them. I went to the plaza and watched happily while my cousin was doing her walk on the stage.

Have you ever had a movie so fashionable yet unsuperficial? I’ve got one of my faves that exactly embodies that description. The Devil Wears Prada and they’ve come back for a sequel. There’s a notion that comes to mind when people hear about Fashion: that it is automatically superficial, nonsense and unimportant. People that like fashion are somehow judged as  shallow and petty. But that’s where you got it all wrong. Fashion is an integral part of life; mostly it takes care of our mood. Personally, it lifts me up when I’m on my depressive days. It’s a glimmer for me just like music, food, books, travel or whatnot. Never underestimate the power of a cute dress to cheer you up on your bad days. That’s just me speaking from experience. 

The Devil Wears Prada 2 is a powerful movie stating that Fashion people are deep people with feelings, frustrations, and stories so deep you might not even fathom them. It tells about people struggling with loneliness, sufferings, acceptance, prejudice, and a lot more things that ordinary people might not understand. The limelight does not guarantee happiness nor being included. Not everyone who is on top and has a strong personality doesn’t have a heart. The movie shows that Miranda is just like all of us who cares though she might not show it most of the time. She had this facade of a successful, powerful woman that was so hard to penetrate for she controls her emotions. But she does care. 

Fashion is art. If you were a creative and artistic person like me it is deep in a sense just most kinds of different forms of art. It is deep, it transcends history, stories and magical transformation. Every clothing is a representation of someone's uniqueness and ideals. It is not just clothes, it is a coalition of every conceptualization of artwork, style, and sensibility so curated that it appeals to almost everyone personally. You might think it’s shallow but it isn’t every piece has been perfectly thought out from the style, colors, tapestry and whatnot. It is a perfect execution of a masterpiece just functional enough for our daily needs or some party needs. It is important because if not what are you gonna wear when you need to celebrate your debut, birthdays, oath-taking, your wedding or what else would you want to celebrate? For every celebration there is a corresponding fashion sense and fashion statement. And that’s my statement piece. Ciao. 

Bang! Gun shots echoing through the Senate walls, just like that, all of them wanting sympathy. Like they have families waiting at home that may never see them again. Guns in the Senate suddenly flip the narrative. Now you hate the masses because we are mocking you for acting so cowardly towards a few gun shots in your sheltered lifestyle of luxury. They’re angry because the ordinary people can’t find the heart to empathize with these corrupt crocodiles dressed in barongs and branded fashion. You want sympathy for a once in a lifetime experience of an almost daily experience of the ordinary. You can call me heartless but honestly where were your hearts when tons of our fellow kababayans were raided, forced evicted, and shot dead in broad daylight? Weren’t you all partying, exchanging chickas, clinking wine glasses in your air-conditioned walls when the rest of us were treated like animals chased in our cages? 

You just heard the shots, most of our fellows felt it sipping through their skins. You felt unsafe, most are not safe. Your loved ones might not see you again, most of us will never see ours ever again. There’s a big difference between them. You got the movie experience, we have it as our reality, yes, most of us live in  that reality. Not just for a day, but for the rest of their waking life. I don’t want to invalidate your experience but I chose to in exchange for you invalidating the harsh reality most of us are experiencing. This isn’t just about those gun shots. This is about the taxes you robbed us, the dignity you stripped from our skins, the respect you deny us, the security and safety you are supposed to fulfill but just went to drain. We cried decades ago but it went to deaf ears and now just because of gun shots just once in  your life you suddenly felt we owe you sympathy? 

Sympathy begets sympathy. Respect begets respect. I ain’t see any reason giving those things to your entitled asses. If you think you are all so privileged then let go of your positions, why do you keep holding on to our tax money. We don’t need you, you are simply there because of us. Let go of our treasure if you are really so wealthy on your own why need to rob us more? Decades have passed haven’t you amassed wealth enough to fund your next of kin retirement and travel plans? Ain’t it enough? Do you still want more? Your antics make us laugh now loudly. It isn't of happiness but sarcasm that the narrative’s been flipped and here you go all crybabies whining that no one even said “kumusta” after those dreaded gun shots? Have you ever said “kumusta” to our kababayans who went worse than that? You just heard it, most of us felt it deep in our skin yet we never obliged you to check on us because it is not our duty to tell you what should be done, it’s yours. At least you know “na dapat pala kinukumusta kapag may mga ganyang pangyayari di ba?” 

So kumusta? Happy?

I just heard a day ago about “Loyalty Tester.” I kind of got the hint but just to be sure I googled it and found out that I’ve been doing it already since I was in high school, not paid though. My being a loyalty tester started because of goodwill. I used to be a tomboy having more male friends than girls. My female friends, knowing that fact, kept on begging me to introduce them to my male friends so I did. Out of being protective I started testing my male friends if they are loyal or they're just going to make my female friends cry. Since I know the holy grail of male traits because of being one of the boys I have the advantage of knowing how to make them fall. I started operating in a subtle way. Befriend them more, luring them if ever they are going to take the bait and cheat with my female friends through other girls or even through me.

I started teasing them and building up other girls that I think they might be interested with and sometimes I kind of put myself on the line. Eventually they are all loyal but they ended up liking me rather than my girl friends which is kind of weird. I’m cupid, supposed to be the matchmaker and yet they fell for me instead of the girl I’m trying to match with them. The rule is: you are not supposed to fall for Cupid. You're always going to lose and they all did. Anyway, I’ve continued being a loyalty tester secretly amongst my friends and family. Checking whether my sister’s boyfriends are loyal or not. Turns out they all are and the plot twist is that my sister is the cheater. I spent sleeping in one room with my sister’s boyfriends, all alone with them but nothing happened. They all passed my test. But my sister didn’t, shocking, ain’t it?

With the years of secretly testing, I’ve realized I’ve got more male friends that are truly loyal than my female friends. It is maddening and kinda surprising when people think males are prolific cheaters. Turns out when we were in school most girls were cheaters not men. Is it still true up to now or in the real world it’s the men not the girls or it’s both now?

People might crucify me for this blabber but do you, I do me. Of course religious people will always contest that this premise is not acceptable for in the bible it says to procreate but hear me out. Into this modern age of innovation and digital technology here I am at 41 saying I don’t need to be married. I don’t, neither do you. Marriage is the union of two souls in love, should be but most of the marriages we have are actually founded in necessity. We are getting married because we are lonely souls that need someone else’s affection, comfort, time and yeah support especially financial support. Being an independent soul I don’t need that, I operate as a lone wolf and the only thing I need in this life is God. 

Marriage is a want. When you are totally whole on your own it just becomes a whim. You wish you are married not because of a need but because of a want. You want to be with that person that makes your heart flutter, that makes you dream even more big things. That one person whom you can share your life with for the rest of eternity. Yes you don ‘t need him but you want him because he makes your whole world even brighter, lighter and more magical. You don’t need anything from him but love and assurance that you will still be silly until you’re both grey and old. 

Today I don’t need to be married but I’m gonna be married because I want that frakkin' soul to lay beside me in my bed cuddling me to sleep and I want little people that exactly look like him giving me cooing kisses in broad daylight. That’s my fairy-tale, what’s yours?

Hey lovies, I'm freakin back and I'm gonna blog and blog and blog haha

Here is how I look now...

I've been away for much too long from blogging for almost 5 months now and alas... I'm like a newbie again I can't find my way. Haha I feel so dumb not knowing how to open my blog but it's a good thing that I've saved everything in my laptop so one click and I don't need any password or anything like that to get here.

Blogger has a new look and I'm kinda awkward posting this because I'm not used to the set up. But anyways I'm back again into blogging. I just had an invite from Nuffnang for AyosDito.ph Iball so I decided to power on my thinking caps again.

Wee I'm in Manila now so more happenings and things to blog. A lot of things happened already I hope I can write more here from now.  And I need to get my alexa ranking back I'm just in 27 million now so far from the previous 600 000... shame.

I still don't write for the sake of traffic but still it's not bad as a side dish hehe.

I woke up yesterday at about 4am and decided to go online to send a quick chikka message to anyone from my organization who's going with the nature trip and clean-up drive to inform that I'll be there right at 6am. Then when I checked my email I was surprised that it's full of notifications from bloggers.com. I was used to receiving friend requests or follow notifications but only up to 5 a day or one at a time for most days but not like this one that it came like my mail was hit by storm. (Ok, I'm exaggerating... haha) But well what can I do, I'm just a nobody, blogging about my life's nonsense therefore I was all wondering about how too many people (more than 10 is too many already for me) all of a sudden were noticing my blog. 


It turns out I was one of the three featured bloggers, listed in the Editors' Picks of the Day on Bloggers.com. I was totally floored. I didn't know how it happened. But then one of the email says "Congratulation! You are have been Featured on Bloggers." 

Bloggers - Meet Millions of Bloggersbloggers.comBloggers Community: Know the best bloggers around the world, discover them and connect yourself with this friendly bloggers community.

This is weird but with all my blog categories I actually find it most difficult writing about myself. To think this is my first week of blog programming and I'm already having a hard time coming up for today's personal post... darn.

It's really hard to write especially if I'm so darn happy. Happiness blurs my thinking caps. Although I wanted to avoid negativities in my blog and I like to write about happy thoughts but writing in a state of bliss is not much too ideal for coming up a sensible post. But I have to stick to my rules and I'm going to try and brake barriers on my writer's block today.

I slept it through and now what? Still struggling for this post. I'm thinking of just posting a Osama Bin Laden is Dead entry but I don't really like posting things in my blog just for the sake of ramping up my blog traffic. I admit there are things I copy and pasted from other websites for the sake of establishing a reference and I don't write things that isn't in my interest or I haven't carefully analyze. It's nice to increase your page views but I won't really stoop down to that level of degrading myself on just riding on with the hype. Besides there are no elaborated facts to prove this for now and the news said President Obama will give a statement later today about the matter.

(photo credit)