Speckles n Spectrum

back to basics seemingly-banal adventures of an eclectic modern muser...

"Learning from the Past, Hopes for the Future, and a Life's Journey of making the most of what's at hand."

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Showing posts with label Lullaby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lullaby. Show all posts

Hey, Pa. If I had a baby that year s/he will be 12 years old by now and probably graduating from elementary, might have been something to celebrate right? But no we're not that kind of teens in spite of not growing up with a complete family because you have to leave before we even get to truly understand the meaning of "life."

Life has been pretty tough since. It was a rocky road and I wish it was delicious as an ice cream haha but it wasn't. So you might ask what's up? Hmmm, nothing much. I'm still that kid who learned the word stubborn when I was in Grade 2 because it was written in red ink at the back of my report card. Sweet right? Haha

I still miss those days because you were the only one who can actually laugh with me and my mistakes. I can break things and take it as if it was nothing making me feel I'm more important than that piece of glassware. (I still have that scar in one of my fingers that reminds me how you've offered to continue washing the dishes after I was wounded by a broken glass.)

I'm not saying good things about you because you're already gone. You know I'm not that kind of person. I won't lie just because you're already dead. I'm not into a game of impressing the living so why would I do things to please the departed? Silly right?

We had bad times too. In fact I clearly remember that you rarely get angry. It was a once a year event at most and I'm the lucky one who always get to celebrate it with a few strokes of real leather belt on my behind. And we know if you're pissed when we hear the keyword "sinvergüenza" followed by few bicol curses. 

We even argue once because of that shirt you're wearing in this photo.
I was 10 years old and growing to be boyish and starting to lend your shirts.
I argue that it has pink on it so girls can wear it too.
I won and I'm pretty sure not because you bought my argument  =)

But you know all of that and perhaps everything about us since probably you're up there watching us make a damn mess in this world. So really what's up with me finally writing about this dreaded topic? It's been years and you know what I guess I am finally free. I'm even surprise because this year it feels so good to be true.

Last year I wasn't able to think about it because we were all busy with the souvenir shop/cofitti and resto. I guess that's my gift from Virgen de Peñafrancia on her tercentenary year: peace of mind. I've been busy dealing with other stuff that I skipped the melancholy brought by September in 2010. I didn't have time to sit and day dream with a misty eye while listening to that Luther Vandross' song.

Quite the same thing happened this June on your death anniversary. I got busy with stuff and the next thing I knew I slept through the whole day. Then here's your birthday you're 57 by now, old man... haha

And you know what Pa? It's amazing to still be here after years of losing you and realizing that for this year it's going to be different from the rest for I finally let go. I no longer pray the same stuff. My litanies aren't wishful thinking and my day dreams are no longer the old what ifs. Finally I'm living in the present tense. I won't lie, I still cry when I think about you and I can't promise to keep my eyes dry whenever you pop in my head but it's now tears of joy, of remembering, and reliving the memories.

I can't still see the bigger picture of His decision of claiming you too early but I'm more optimistic and open to the idea that whatever His reasons might be something for the better.

But hey, stop right there. Do you all really think I'm that super duper mega stubborn that I needed to get through all these initiations to get pass life on earth? As if I wanted to go to your so called heaven haha

Life is a freak but well, sorry life for I am freakier than you. Gotcha!

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I got this song we loved to listen to during my grade school years. Sorry I lost the cassette tape I don't know why of all tapes Matt Monro's album is missing while Vina Morales and the Cha-Cha tapes are still here, shame.

I guess this song speaks a lot about you and the things that remind me of you. These are the stuff that made up my ideals too. Thanks for everything and sorry I'm not the type to make promises for I think promises are made to be broken and I'm forgetful and fickle which makes it more difficult. But I know for sure that's fine with you because you've always been very accepting of who we are.

So long Pa, I'm just here being myself. I know that's good enough. I don't need fireworks or anything to make you appreciate the rest of me. You've been with us for only a short span but you were able to give us what some people might take more than a lifetime to accomplish. You're not the teacher yet you've given us the most wonderful lessons without being aware that you did. You don't impose or force, you gave us freewill and had always asked, "Ano ang gusto mo nene?" You made us feel what love truly is, we don't need to sacrifice anything to earn it because you've given it for free and unconditionally.

Ma said you're the sosy type, you're spoiled and your hands were too soft for a man which in layman's term "lazy." (I do get the same comments about my hands (which I think is too shallow for people to conclude laziness by just basing on the softness of your hands because I too do household chores for am closer to being poor than being a princess) but I'd like to ask: Is loving household chores the sole basis of being industrious? If it was my, why did I wasted my time going to school if everyone just wanted us to perfect dish washing and doing the laundry? Ha ha, sorry stupid thoughts again. Well, I went to school so I can find something to do that doesn't involve scrubbing the tiles all the time. Though I wouldn't mind doing it once a year haha)

Seriously, I don't care I'm not blind and I know of course that every person has their negative traits but yours simply drowned in the long list of distinctive good things:

  • you're the most down to earth person I've known
  • you give the last of your centavo even to strangers who knock even on the wee hours
  • you're a friend to all that even little kids admire you
  • you're loyal and faithful that even if girls drool you simply tease your way out
  • you're the easiest to please for your joys were of simple things
 and there's quite a list but I'm going to cut it here before you yell out your magic word =)



Happy natal day and advance greetings for me and Anchie too. =)



















I'm literally having a bad day but I don't want it to get the best of me today. 
I just hope the negative vibes go away and leave me in peace.
I sorta hope this song helps brighten my day =)
I'm not going to rant anymore, enough of that I sort of did already on my fb 
and I made 2 new quotes, saying or whatever out of the matter:

Dream stealers are almost twins with crab mentality

If only we can sell walking Tupperwares, 
Philippines would have been the richest in the world, 
we've got oversupply here.


Good day!





It's been a while since we had this blessed visitor. It has been going on (since I was in high school, I think)  in the subdivision where we live that at least every month She will visit each house for a day or two. But sometimes some households forgot to pass her to the next that it takes more than months before She showed up again to other homes. This in particular had been a year before we had Her again.

It's been too long since I last pray the rosary and myself amazed me that the prayers aren't along those memories that had been washed out by my decision to slack on remembering things. I'm very proud that I now knew I've memorized it by heart. The Hail Holy Queen and the Let Us Pray part but not so much of the Litany.

I just want to have this blog post as a reminder of Her visit and a way of another prayer to thank Her, celebrate Her presence and pray for Her maternal protection for our families and every households, every individual living or not. May the Blessed Mother protect us always.



The Miraculous Medal Apostolate


I pray for WEALTH in all aspect of our lives.
Wealth of guidance.
Wealth of happiness.
Wealth of health.
Wealth of peace of mind.
Wealth of tranquility.
Wealth of compassion.
Wealth of kindness.
Wealth of love.
Wealth of inspiration and creativity.
Wealth of all simplest and joyous things in life. 
May we all be rich men in our relationships and everyday life. 
May we shower Her the abundance of gratefulness through our own little ways.


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I'm sick, lurv sick that is. You know those rare days that I get this virus. My friend has contaminated me with this disease after posting a sort of luv letter or regretful stat on fb. But then to be honest I've been feeling this for a while now, at least for a week I think.

The day I've worn my fave purple dress (thank God it still fits, surprisingly it stretch out). These past few days I'm feeling romantic for no one in particular. I actually got those days as I said rarely maybe once a year but for now it's been too long. My gawd one week almost and I'm writing this way now haha, figured it's really not fitting for me to feel that way. I am ruining my hardcore persona, duh!

I seldom write about romantic love and cheesiness. I'm not a guru in the subject, in fact this is my waterloo. I know how to love but I think I've never experienced it the real way. I'm kinda more difficult to deal with when it comes to romantic love rather than being all out for family and friends. I'm more always on guard and defensive about this. I had boyfriends and I never talk about it. I'm not kiss and tell. I got flings and maybe I consider them all flings... tadaa... boom! Yeah, a romantic confession, darn hope no one gets to read this but then if you happened to please let me know how airhead I am OH-kay?

I can just imagine right now the face of my sister when we were on skype video chatting with a friend I met from the dating site.

He asked me "How many partners you had?"

My sister said straight away, "She never had a boyfriend."

And I answered the question addressing both of them, "I can still count using a single hand."

She never said anything about it but by the looked on her face I knew her thoughts are between "you're bluffing, right?" or she wanted to ask, "really, ate nagkaboyfriend ka na?"

Haha... I can't help but smile thinking about the way she reacted.

That's why I always say I am secretive, very secretive but not anymore. I'm learning to let it out especially the romantic things. I hope I learn and get the feel that there's nothing to be ashamed of being in love.

Why is it I felt that way about it in the first place? Don't ask, I guess I got that bad idea while growing up. Now I know being a flirt isn't a mortal sin, it's part of life, it's part of nature, it's like the way how the butterflies flirt with the flowers for pollen grains but still I've a long way to learn the art of flirting and still knowing me I won't even bother to learn.

That's why good luck to the so called luv life and hope in my few hazy dazy romantic fool episodes I'll meet the one who'll sing this for me...


... and maybe help me consider signing the divorce papers with myself 
or join in the threesome =)


We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, 
and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, 
we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.  
~Author Unknown





Woke up at 4am, brekkie with mum's super green veggies (broccoli, lettuce and moringa leaves ), showered and  start my early morning neighbor disturbing sound trip. At least my music isn't noise, it's not like I'm still into Korn, Rage against the Machine or the likes so my mum's even singing along with Glee's "Just the way you are" to think she's always the first person who doesn't like full blast stereos.

Then I thought I want to blog about another song now, knowing me it's not something new, I am always nostalgic most of the time now... oh, no I'm getting old, yeah, yeah. I always hear myself saying now when I was a kid or something like that. In fact, I was talking the other day to a little girl and she said she wanted to grow up already and wear lady dresses and I told her not to hurry growing up, enjoy playing and being a kid because when she's already my age she'll regret not doing all of that, as if I wasn't able to play a lot when I was little... hehe

But I think there will always be a part of me that will remain a child whatever age I may be. I like the simplicity, the peacefulness you see in every kid and I like how they seemed to be happy about little things.  The genuine smile and laughter you get out of simply getting candies. I like that, I wish everyone retains that despite the virus called growing up. Yeah, virus lol.

This song isn't really about being a kid but I loved watching this on MTV when I was in high school. I remember I didn't leave home not after I've seen this in Most Wanted (that's why I'm almost always late if not late or super late, sorry teachers hehe)

Hhmmm, I'm not a fan of Madonna. This is actually the only video and song I like from her list. I'm a lyric person, it's always about the message before the melody or the catchy beat. Always looking for meaningful and inspiring things even then. Thinking about it now, I wanna ask...

Hey Aby, what happened to your ideologies?

Hmmm, I say this song makes me wanna scream OUCH!


It was almost too late for me to make an entry and join this contest. I wasn't aware that campaign ads had been in my blog since April 8, 2011. Last week I've noticed that at midnight McDonald ad is popping out in my sidebar Nuffnang ads so was Sun Broadband at the bottom of every page.

Based on Nuffnang rules that they are adding ads according to what suits your blog best having McDonald and Sun with the tagline "Find your fun" is so much flattering for me. (Sorry I'm a newbie on ads that's why it makes me happy having these on my blog.) It's overwhelming for the fact that they actually wanted to be seen side-by-side with my nonsense rants, wee. So I was all happy with that but Wait, there's actually more... (I remember all of a sudden the Shop TV line that I actually love to watch before even if it's all reruns... yeah, my kind of fun haha)

When I've checked my list of ads I've discovered that Levi's has been in my metered campaign since April 18, wth? And that came along with this Roadwear "Your Journey" promo... darn. How did I possibly miss all this stuff huh? May 31 yes that's today (12:10AM here already) the last day of submission of entries... whew! Talk about beating the deadline.

After learning this I immediately created an entry and wasted 12 hours for it. My movie maker stopped responding the first time so there goes my 7 hours down the drain and bye bye hard work. I've started over and rush things up and even though I wasn't able to recreate the first work I was able at least to make something decent for the final entry.

But I'm not much proud of my final work, my brain got stuck and it seems I've forgotten a lot of things to add and I don't know where'd my pretty original quotes went during the making of this entry... hay =(

Ops, I'm fraking selling my self short again, aren't I? I'm supposed to ask you to like my entry so let's just pretend you didn't read what I've written up there... haha

And one more thing, the hassle to vote... at least I'm giving you the warning if you ever want to really help me win this Levi's Roadwear promo but I have a solution for that so it will be easier and you won't get lost on the website.

Here's my detailed photo instructions, if you still get lost after reading this, I don't know what to say... hehe


Please click the photos to enlarge it.

Go to Levi's Roadwear website



It was a mistake that I've uploaded 2 entries but just choose the first one.

SKIP THIS STEP means less hassle =)

Please like my entry once a day until the contest end. 

Don't forget here's the website http://www.levisroadwear.com/ph/promo/
And type in the search box: Maria Kristina Abiog

This is actually the first time I've plea for help for a contest... hehe (see the Category for this entry to help you realize hehe) I wanted it so badly because winning this will save my rooster piggy bank from breaking and it will help a lot in my blogging. This is like the shortcut to my wishlist so please be kind Help a scavenger in need. ;)

To be fair here's my entry you might want to watch it first so you can decide whether you'd like to vote for it so you can avoid all the hassle on checking the Levi's site.



Thank you so much for reading my blog and grateful in advance for you likes =)

Violent reactions  (lol), comments, suggestions are always welcome. It may hurt my sensitive feelings but well everyone needs a constructive criticism, right? And I actually need it badly PMs are good too for some of you aren't comfortable using the comment box. I can keep a secret, trust me on that =)

"She is trying to rip off Christian idolatry to shore up her talentless, mundane and boring performances," 

says the president of the Catholic League.

The tune features lyrics like: "I want to love you,/but something’s pulling me away from you/Jesus is my virtue, and Judas is the demon I cling to….I’m just a holy fool,/ oh baby he’s so cruel,/ but I’m still in love with Judas, baby.”

I don't know about you but the first time I read these lines during Holy Week through someone that said the song lyrics are disturbing her, well, I thought so too. But rereading it again now and listening to the song as well as doing some research on how people view it hmmm... I think I just changed my mind about the song. (see some buzz about this here and views here.)

Honestly, I'm not a fan of Gaga but I sometimes like to listen to her songs when there's nothing left to be played in my favorite playlist and I like the message of "Born This Way." Though I like how free-spirited she is and how she breaks social norms and being so brave to stand-up and be unique in a world full of confinements and stereotyping. Less to say I admire the boldness and freedom she's exuding but I'm waiting for her to drop the wild fashion sense and start being subtle in terms of clothing. Costumes for performances and music videos are fine but for shopping or everyday wear uh, uh. I know she's doing it to attract attention and she's great in getting people's attention. I even read once somewhere that she used to go bare-naked while playing her piano in a New York stage just so her audience will focus on her. I know it's her thing and that's what makes her unique but she's famous now I think she can return to earth and for christ'ssakes live like a real human. And if she's really aiming to be a role-model of the youth, and I guess she's already is for some well, it's just right for her to start thinking about how influential she is in today's children's mind and start living and doing it right.

So Judas is just another interesting song with a catchy beat that I wouldn't mind to listen to once in a while. About the lyrics, it seems the church is just being a baby with this. Being so touchy about the matter that it was purposefully release during the Lent but it's not really mocking anything. For me the song is just like a sinner's confession of trying to be faithful and good but being affected by demons. Admitting those stuff in a song is not a mortal sin, it is way better than priests molesting children and hiding in their holy cross and still preaching about loving them in God's way. What do the church do about this? Well, they just shuffle the parish assignments of the offender and keep them out of public view. Now those are the things they needed to comment on, as for this talentless gaga as they said but stirring controversies on their church, this is nothing compare to their inside controversies so I might say who are the real hypocrites then?





It's Holy Week and I don't know but "Banal na Aso, Santong Kabayo" is always the first song that comes to mind. From what's happening nowadays it seems this is the perfect theme song for Lenten Season.

It seems Lenten Season had been very different. People were all like treating it as a "vacacion grande", well, it is sort of but with all the hype about those fancy vacations they seem to forget the real essence and meaning of the occasion. This is supposed to be a week of reflection, of penitence, and of changing our ways but it seems it had turn out to be a great drinking spree.

Old traditions are still here. Good? Sure but not until you hear what's beyond the stories now of events. The church seemed to start turning our religion into a big money-making business. Just take a look with the Easter Angels. According to older generation Easter Angels were chosen because of their health. The more sickly the kid, the more they're picked to be part of that event because they said it cures them. It was like they are offering their kids to HIM and in turn HE blessed them with good health.

Now? If you don't have much money don't expect your child to be an Easter Angel. It seems it had become a privilege for the wealthy. 

Pasyon. Passion of the Christ used to be a solemn prayer that are sung it is still is but people actually ask money from Government Officials for sponsorship. And in some areas it seem they're just making it an excuse for permission to conduct gambling events along with the reading... tsk.tsk.

What about those who let themselves crucified literally? Used to do it out of pure faith. Now? Purely fake. It seems some are doing it for the money. Foreign media had been paying these people for a scoop. (I've watched an exposé of this somewhere on TV, can't remember the exact channel but it was a full-length documentary about this issue.) 

"Season of Seasonal Faith" according to one of my friends' fb status. Truly it is. Because after this week those who have been crucified in the cross, done bloody penitence, the ones who went "Visita Iglesia," most of them (I am not saying all) they're going back to their normal life. Some will attend Sunday mass regularly but just like in the song after the mass they will go on with their old self. Cursing people, hurting others, lying, stealing and all the bad things that you can think of. 

I don't go to church now but I attend "Healing Mass" on TV. I don't consider myself religious now but I am very much spiritual. I still consider myself Catholic but not really hardcore. See I am supposed to give up internet for a week according to the Church's Lenten guide but I won't. I reflect everyday through my blog, this is my way of doing my faith. I pray and talk to HIM every moment I can and I don't think I really need to tell everyone about that. I am not like "Willie Revillame" I don't believe that I need to tell anyone whether I am a good person because for sure they'll know that on their own. 

"Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you're not."

---Margaret Thatcher.



I would like to use that quote changing powerful to being good or being holy or whatever that is. You don't declare it, you just accept it and go on with your life. It really doesn't matter whether people know or not it is what's in your heart and soul and my faith I believe is between me and my GOD. 

And one reason too. I don't want to be a parasite with HIM and I am very much sorry that at the moment I am to my mother. Forgive me for that. I treat HIM like my best friend. I tell all and never leave anything behind, HE knows the unedited version of my life through my prayers and it's not because I know I can't hide anything from HIM anyways but because I wanted to and I trust HIM.

But I am still praying that one day my eagerness in attending mass in church will return soon. It has been my habit not to attend mass when I am disturb. It's like showing up to your best friend's house and all you can say while talking to her is "Okay" and then "pardon?" for your mind is wandering somewhere else, isn't insulting? It's never my habit to show up when all I can bring to the table are problems. They say Loneliness loves company but not me. I isolate myself when I only spell trouble for it make me more guilty drowning others into my pit, it's just isn't fair.

I believe that to be able to achieve true happiness, 10% will be prayer and 90% is all up to me. I'm working on it. I don't know but I feel ashamed to go to church and ask for material things, I think I'm the one who should take care of it and do the work not HIM. When it materializes I know and I've promised I'll definitely show up in HIS doorstep to celebrate with HIM and to thank HIM for all the guidance. But for now please EXCUSE me I have a life to live and I'm just ain't up for pretenses. I won't do it half-heartedly and never inside of a holy place. I'm maybe blogging during your "Walk of Faith" or maybe sleeping while you are all up early for the Easter Mass. So yes I am not HOLY during your HOLY week but my faith ain't SEASONAL either.




Just the right song to help us check our values in life... money isn't everything... think about that...


Got this song from ytinstant, sensible lyrics, catchy upbeats, I'm playing it over and over at this time helping to uplift my down mood today ☼


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