Speckles n Spectrum

Hey, Pa. If I had a baby that year s/he will be 12 years old by now and probably graduating from elementary, might have been something to celebrate right? But no we're not that kind of teens in spite of not growing up with a complete family because you have to leave before we even get to truly understand the meaning of "life."

Life has been pretty tough since. It was a rocky road and I wish it was delicious as an ice cream haha but it wasn't. So you might ask what's up? Hmmm, nothing much. I'm still that kid who learned the word stubborn when I was in Grade 2 because it was written in red ink at the back of my report card. Sweet right? Haha

I still miss those days because you were the only one who can actually laugh with me and my mistakes. I can break things and take it as if it was nothing making me feel I'm more important than that piece of glassware. (I still have that scar in one of my fingers that reminds me how you've offered to continue washing the dishes after I was wounded by a broken glass.)

I'm not saying good things about you because you're already gone. You know I'm not that kind of person. I won't lie just because you're already dead. I'm not into a game of impressing the living so why would I do things to please the departed? Silly right?

We had bad times too. In fact I clearly remember that you rarely get angry. It was a once a year event at most and I'm the lucky one who always get to celebrate it with a few strokes of real leather belt on my behind. And we know if you're pissed when we hear the keyword "sinvergüenza" followed by few bicol curses. 

We even argue once because of that shirt you're wearing in this photo. I was 10 years old and growing to be boyish and starting to lend your shirts. I argue that it has pink on it so girls can wear it too. I won and I'm pretty sure not because you bought my argument  =)

But you know all of that and perhaps everything about us since probably you're up there watching us make a damn mess in this world. So really what's up with me finally writing about this dreaded topic? It's been years and you know what I guess I am finally free. I'm even surprise because this year it feels so good to be true.

Last year I wasn't able to think about it because we were all busy with the souvenir shop/cofitti and resto. I guess that's my gift from Virgen de Peñafrancia on her tercentenary year: peace of mind. I've been busy dealing with other stuff that I skipped the melancholy brought by September in 2010. I didn't have time to sit and day dream with a misty eye while listening to that Luther Vandross' song.

Quite the same thing happened this June on your death anniversary. I got busy with stuff and the next thing I knew I slept through the whole day. Then here's your birthday you're 57 by now, old man... haha

And you know what Pa? It's amazing to still be here after years of losing you and realizing that for this year it's going to be different from the rest for I finally let go. I no longer pray the same stuff. My litanies aren't wishful thinking and my day dreams are no longer the old what ifs. Finally I'm living in the present tense. I won't lie, I still cry when I think about you and I can't promise to keep my eyes dry whenever you pop in my head but it's now tears of joy, of remembering, and reliving the memories.

I can't still see the bigger picture of His decision of claiming you too early but I'm more optimistic and open to the idea that whatever His reasons might be something for the better.

But hey, stop right there. Do you all really think I'm that super duper mega stubborn that I needed to get through all these initiations to get pass life on earth? As if I wanted to go to your so called heaven haha

Life is a freak but well, sorry life for I am freakier than you. Gotcha!

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I got this song we loved to listen to during my grade school years. Sorry I lost the cassette tape I don't know why of all tapes Matt Monro's album is missing while Vina Morales and the Cha-Cha tapes are still here, shame.

I guess this song speaks a lot about you and the things that remind me of you. These are the stuff that made up my ideals too. Thanks for everything and sorry I'm not the type to make promises for I think promises are made to be broken and I'm forgetful and fickle which makes it more difficult. But I know for sure that's fine with you because you've always been very accepting of who we are.

So long Pa, I'm just here being myself. I know that's good enough. I don't need fireworks or anything to make you appreciate the rest of me. You've been with us for only a short span but you were able to give us what some people might take more than a lifetime to accomplish. You're not the teacher yet you've given us the most wonderful lessons without being aware that you did. You don't impose or force, you gave us freewill and had always asked, "Ano ang gusto mo nene?" You made us feel what love truly is, we don't need to sacrifice anything to earn it because you've given it for free and unconditionally.

Ma said you're the sosy type, you're spoiled and your hands were too soft for a man which in layman's term "lazy." (I do get the same comments about my hands (which I think is too shallow for people to conclude laziness by just basing on the softness of your hands because I too do household chores for am closer to being poor than being a princess) but I'd like to ask: Is loving household chores the sole basis of being industrious? If it was my, why did I wasted my time going to school if everyone just wanted us to perfect dish washing and doing the laundry? Ha ha, sorry stupid thoughts again. Well, I went to school so I can find something to do that doesn't involve scrubbing the tiles all the time. Though I wouldn't mind doing it once a year haha)

Seriously, I don't care I'm not blind and I know of course that every person has their negative traits but yours simply drowned in the long list of distinctive good things:

• you're the most down to earth person I've known
• you give the last of your centavo even to strangers who knock even on the wee hours
• you're a friend to all that even little kids admire you
• you're loyal and faithful that even if girls drool you simply tease your way out
• you're the easiest to please for your joys were of simple things

 and there's quite a list but I'm going to cut it here before you yell out your magic word =)

Dream stealers are almost twins with crab mentality

If only we can sell walking Tupperwares, 

Philippines would have been the richest in the world, 

we've got oversupply here.

It's been a while since we had this blessed visitor. It has been going on (since I was in high school, I think)  in the subdivision where we live that at least every month She will visit each house for a day or two. But sometimes some households forgot to pass her to the next that it takes more than months before She showed up again to other homes. This in particular had been a year before we had Her again.

It's been too long since I last pray the rosary and myself amazed me that the prayers aren't along those memories that had been washed out by my decision to slack on remembering things. I'm very proud that I now knew I've memorized it by heart. The Hail Holy Queen and the Let Us Pray part but not so much of the Litany.

I just want to have this blog post as a reminder of Her visit and a way of another prayer to thank Her, celebrate Her presence and pray for Her maternal protection for our families and every households, every individual living or not. May the Blessed Mother protect us always.

I'm sick, lurv sick that is. You know those rare days that I get this virus. My friend has contaminated me with this disease after posting a sort of luv letter or regretful stat on fb. But then to be honest I've been feeling this for a while now, at least for a week I think.

The day I've worn my fave purple dress (thank God it still fits, surprisingly it stretch out). These past few days I'm feeling romantic for no one in particular. I actually got those days as I said rarely maybe once a year but for now it's been too long. My gawd one week almost and I'm writing this way now haha, figured it's really not fitting for me to feel that way. I am ruining my hardcore persona, duh!

I seldom write about romantic love and cheesiness. I'm not a guru in the subject, in fact this is my waterloo. I know how to love but I think I've never experienced it the real way. I'm kinda more difficult to deal with when it comes to romantic love rather than being all out for family and friends. I'm more always on guard and defensive about this. I had boyfriends and I never talk about it. I'm not kiss and tell. I got flings and maybe I consider them all flings... tadaa... boom! Yeah, a romantic confession, darn hope no one gets to read this but then if you happened to please let me know how airhead I am OH-kay?

I can just imagine right now the face of my sister when we were on skype video chatting with a friend I met from the dating site.

He asked me "How many partners you had?"

My sister said straight away, "She never had a boyfriend."

And I answered the question addressing both of them, "I can still count using a single hand."

She never said anything about it but by the looked on her face I knew her thoughts are between "you're bluffing, right?" or she wanted to ask, "really, ate nagkaboyfriend ka na?"

Haha... I can't help but smile thinking about the way she reacted.

That's why I always say I am secretive, very secretive but not anymore. I'm learning to let it out especially the romantic things. I hope I learn and get the feel that there's nothing to be ashamed of being in love.

Why is it I felt that way about it in the first place? Don't ask, I guess I got that bad idea while growing up. Now I know being a flirt isn't a mortal sin, it's part of life, it's part of nature, it's like the way how the butterflies flirt with the flowers for pollen grains but still I've a long way to learn the art of flirting and still knowing me I won't even bother to learn.

That's why good luck to the so called luv life and hope in my few hazy dazy romantic fool episodes I'll meet the one who'll sing this for me...

Woke up at 4am, brekkie with mum's super green veggies (broccoli, lettuce and moringa leaves ), showered and  start my early morning neighbor disturbing sound trip. At least my music isn't noise, it's not like I'm still into Korn, Rage against the Machine or the likes so my mum's even singing along with Glee's "Just the way you are" to think she's always the first person who doesn't like full blast stereos.

Then I thought I want to blog about another song now, knowing me it's not something new, I am always nostalgic most of the time now... oh, no I'm getting old, yeah, yeah. I always hear myself saying now when I was a kid or something like that. In fact, I was talking the other day to a little girl and she said she wanted to grow up already and wear lady dresses and I told her not to hurry growing up, enjoy playing and being a kid because when she's already my age she'll regret not doing all of that, as if I wasn't able to play a lot when I was little... hehe

But I think there will always be a part of me that will remain a child whatever age I may be. I like the simplicity, the peacefulness you see in every kid and I like how they seemed to be happy about little things.  The genuine smile and laughter you get out of simply getting candies. I like that, I wish everyone retains that despite the virus called growing up. Yeah, virus lol.

This song isn't really about being a kid but I loved watching this on MTV when I was in high school. I remember I didn't leave home not after I've seen this in Most Wanted (that's why I'm almost always late if not late or super late, sorry teachers hehe)

Hhmmm, I'm not a fan of Madonna. This is actually the only video and song I like from her list. I'm a lyric person, it's always about the message before the melody or the catchy beat. Always looking for meaningful and inspiring things even then. Thinking about it now, I wanna ask...

Hey Aby, what happened to your ideologies?

Hmmm, I say this song makes me wanna scream OUCH!

It was almost too late for me to make an entry and join this contest. I wasn't aware that campaign ads had been in my blog since April 8, 2011. Last week I've noticed that at midnight McDonald ad is popping out in my sidebar Nuffnang ads so was Sun Broadband at the bottom of every page.

Based on Nuffnang rules that they are adding ads according to what suits your blog best having McDonald and Sun with the tagline "Find your fun" is so much flattering for me. (Sorry I'm a newbie on ads that's why it makes me happy having these on my blog.) It's overwhelming for the fact that they actually wanted to be seen side-by-side with my nonsense rants, wee. So I was all happy with that but Wait, there's actually more... (I remember all of a sudden the Shop TV line that I actually love to watch before even if it's all reruns... yeah, my kind of fun haha)

When I've checked my list of ads I've discovered that Levi's has been in my metered campaign since April 18, wth? And that came along with this Roadwear "Your Journey" promo... darn. How did I possibly miss all this stuff huh? May 31 yes that's today (12:10AM here already) the last day of submission of entries... whew! Talk about beating the deadline.

After learning this I immediately created an entry and wasted 12 hours for it. My movie maker stopped responding the first time so there goes my 7 hours down the drain and bye bye hard work. I've started over and rush things up and even though I wasn't able to recreate the first work I was able at least to make something decent for the final entry.

But I'm not much proud of my final work, my brain got stuck and it seems I've forgotten a lot of things to add and I don't know where'd my pretty original quotes went during the making of this entry... hay =(

Ops, I'm fraking selling my self short again, aren't I? I'm supposed to ask you to like my entry so let's just pretend you didn't read what I've written up there... haha

And one more thing, the hassle to vote... at least I'm giving you the warning if you ever want to really help me win this Levi's Roadwear promo but I have a solution for that so it will be easier and you won't get lost on the website.

Here's my detailed photo instructions, if you still get lost after reading this, I don't know what to say... hehe

Go to Levi's Roadwear website

It was a mistake that I've uploaded 2 entries but just choose the first one.

SKIP THIS STEP means less hassle =)

Please like my entry once a day until the contest end.

Don't forget here's the website http://www.levisroadwear.com/ph/promo/
And type in the search box: Maria Kristina Abiog

This is actually the first time I've plea for help for a contest... hehe (see the Category for this entry to help you realize hehe) I wanted it so badly because winning this will save my rooster piggy bank from breaking and it will help a lot in my blogging. This is like the shortcut to my wishlist so please be kind Help a scavenger in need. ;)

To be fair here's my entry you might want to watch it first so you can decide whether you'd like to vote for it so you can avoid all the hassle on checking the Levi's site.



Thank you so much for reading my blog and grateful in advance for you likes =)

Violent reactions  (lol), comments, suggestions are always welcome. It may hurt my sensitive feelings but well everyone needs a constructive criticism, right? And I actually need it badly PMs are good too for some of you aren't comfortable using the comment box. I can keep a secret, trust me on that =)

"She is trying to rip off Christian idolatry to shore up her talentless, mundane and boring performances," 

says the president of the Catholic League.

The tune features lyrics like: "I want to love you,/but something’s pulling me away from you/Jesus is my virtue, and Judas is the demon I cling to….I’m just a holy fool,/ oh baby he’s so cruel,/ but I’m still in love with Judas, baby.”

It's Holy Week and I don't know but "Banal na Aso, Santong Kabayo" is always the first song that comes to mind. From what's happening nowadays it seems this is the perfect theme song for Lenten Season.

Just the right song to help us check our values in life... money isn't everything... think about that...