Speckles n Spectrum

back to basics seemingly-banal adventures of an eclectic modern muser...

"Learning from the Past, Hopes for the Future, and a Life's Journey of making the most of what's at hand."

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We have Racial Discrimination and I made up this Facial Discrimination thing. (I thought I made it up but as I googled it now... Oh, well it's a real thing and existing elsewhere... I'm always too late to realize things just like only learning the word SELF DEPRECATION and CONUNDRUM a few days ago... arrgh!)

I feel sorry that my blog is actually starting to tackle on negativity and all that but if no one wants to say a thing about the harsh reality and maybe I'll better do that. I am not the pa-sweet effect (maybe it's ok but in serious matters it won't work for me). I am the type who is not afraid of people's opinions, I'm more scared of my own opinions about myself since I am my worst critic (you can't imagine how downgraded I was in my own standards before and even now but I'm a little nicer to myself now so there's nothing worst that I can't take). I believe that every one of us has a bitchy side and mine is my being straight forward, no sugar-coating words and sometimes being brutally honest but I'm learning euphemisms to tone it down and backing it up with TACTFULNESS :)

I am the type of person that my friends go to when they want to hear the truth. I give them what they NEED to hear and not what they WANT to hear. I'm the one who will tell you if you are my close friend, you have halitosis and you need to fix it. And it's not delivered as a joke because it's an important matter. I prefer it that way than having to say it at her back. I hate backbiters.

Anyway, so here it is Why Facial Discrimination? I know it has been present since time immemorial and yet is not given any attention but just like racial discrimination it sucks big time. With all the superficiality going on now it might not be easy to live in a world that loves the beautiful and despises the ugly.

But sometimes who can't blame people for hating someone who is not good-looking but act like real pain-in-the-neck. I mean ugly people who are overly confident and has a lot of bad attitude. Ugly inside and out. Jackpot!

I have seen someone that posted this message: "Umasta lang ng naayon sa Ganda" (act only according to your beauty). It makes sense but it makes me think that only the beautiful people have the right to do whatever the hell they wanted to do. Isn't it discriminating? And what is funny about it is the one who posted doesn't even qualify above average in the looks department. Talking about getting her own dose of medicine. I wanted to ask then why are you posting that? Aren't you acting more than what you should? But I kept it to myself because we're not really close.

Pardon me if I seem to be a bipolar in this issue. I know it's wrong to restrict people's freedom of choices just because they are ugly but it seems a pretty good idea too since I hate it more when someone who is not that good-looking is acting over the top like a bitchy prima donna. It has more weight I think because you are already annoying even when you haven't done anything yet. Oops!

Overall I think whether you are that damn good-looking or not so much you still need to have a sort of decency, a take on what is wrong or right. No one has the right to do bad things no matter how high you think you rate in your looks. Yes, all of it just happened to be their perception on their self-image and maybe that's why that person had that guts to post that annoying message.

Now, I'm not even sure if I am entitled for this post too :)

(photo credit)


Ages had passed
Potions had been perfected
Technology had emerged
Tis the 21st century
And I am left in the ancient past
Where I believe in fairies
Princesses with their knights
I don't have a single drop of royal blood though I am waiting for my knight.

I have dragons to slay
witches to cast spells
demons to conquer.

I do have abyss to swim
skies to fly
fruits to reap
But I don't have my knight.

Someone who'll risk seeing what is within
Someone who'll embrace my baby fats
Someone who'll caress my hair with all its tangles and frizzy ends
Someone who'll look at me in the eye and will accept everything I am and beyond.

Then one night as I woke up from a dream
I've found my knight.
In a place where I least expected it.
Standing right in front of me,
In a place I have refused to look.
Staring back at me in front of the mirror,
The one person I've failed to appreciate...

Diabetes runs in the history of our family. My grandfather on my father side had been blinded and died because of complications, my father too, as well as his eldest sister and now my mom had acquired it and is now on daily insulin shots so that leaves me to be next in line and the sad part is no matter how you live healthy and do the right stuff it's impossible for me to avoid it since it is both hereditary and can be acquired.

I am still on the philosophy that "If it's your time, then it's your time" no matter where you are, what you do if you need to go, then you need to go anytime, anywhere and there's nothing you can do to stop it. So I still eat what I want and live the way I want it to be in the meantime. It isn't healthy for health buffs but I think it's healthy for my soul however a lot will oppose my view about it especially my mom but I prefer heaving a healthy mind for now my focus is there and exercise is the farthest thing in my mind right now but it's on my list to do but not yet for now.

Even though not my choice but I'm sharing a home with a diabetic so it means we need to live and share lifestyles and it includes being on a same diet most of the time. Well, my mom don't force me to eat anything I don't want and neither force me to do things but it doesn't mean I don't get a consistent nag about not eating healthy, not exercising and all that stuff.

But somehow I like what she cooks so most of the time I'm eating healthy because of it so yes I can say I'm in a diabetic diet somehow and that's good because I don't need to adjust much when I'm already there (still wishing I won't inherit it and hope this way I won't acquire it too.)

She had been planting and growing plants in a vacant lot in our subdivision and in a garden in the school where she's still teaching until now and we call it her mini farm-ville. From time to time we get our fruit supplies from those, she share a few to our neighbors and we keep enough for our consumption, bananas are the largest produce so it's the fruit that we give out the most whenever it's bearing fruits if it's not we buy it in the market...

(Mangoes are from Cebu included in my sister's pasalubong)
I'm glad that she's done with carrot juices and shakes because it taste disgusting. It was fine with apples but then she said apples had a lot of fertilizers so not healthy and it's too sweet. Now I'm glad that she made this shake yesterday...


pure mango-banana-papaya shake no sugar
Still a bit bland taste like hospital food but with banana bits it's pretty tasty already So that's what I learned in time... I just need to figure out little things, modify something or add a few things here and there so it fits my taste buds but for her cooking I'm fine with it no need to adjust anything it's delicious and I'm not saying this because she's my mom because I won't say that even if she is. After all no one can make me eat anything that I don't want. So the stir-fried vegetable with squid that came along with the shake, I've passed, No thank you, the shake will do. Maybe it's delicious but sorry I don't eat squids and this had been my alternative...

I heard on the news
There’s a typhoon under my brows
It’s a different storm
Because I can select its form.
Would it be a signal # 1?
Silent yet flowing looks just a dry run
What if signal # 2?
A sniff and a flickering show.
Or signal # 3?
Heavy drops pouring, shoulders disturbed by thunder.
Then the ultimate signal # anything it goes…
It has a lot to do with the flood and the woes.
I have to prepare whichever I prefer
Should I tie my neck to keep it in the lair?
Or should I held my hand with a rope
To prevent me from showing in the slope?
Maybe, I have to nail my feet to where there’s a fleet
Like it can save me from all the defeat.
There’s one thing left, a folded handkerchief
Wrap it around my head and feel its velvety leaf
It soothes me best to pour out the emptiness
The storm had come and it never made me less
There’s no harm done, I just let it all passably
Washing the deepest places that forgot to be lively.
Crybaby, cry
But only for awhile
You have to do this just for once
Clear the river that flows inside your lines
Drop all the mud to the sea
That is where it should be
Forget the clouds that dawn on you
The thunder that mocks your view
Release the misty water
Unclog the depths of your nadir.
Crybaby, cry
There’s no harm if you try
Every grown up man had passed this line
Cry out loud, it will not make you less of a man.
Do it now if you feel like doing it today
There’s no reason to fake it like a play.
Tomorrow, the storm will stop
The sun will laugh
You’re still here feeling relieve
Thanking the weather even if you didn’t believe
There’s no trace of evidence in your defeat
But you know better because you can relate.
Come on, crybaby, cry
It will not make you less if you try.


photo: Google Images

101 Truths About Me: #4 I am low maintenance.

Why? Hmmm... because I am lazy... he he... yup I'm serious about that and I don't want too much hassle. I grew up having barber's cut hair and it never reached the shoulder lines because once it did my mom would bring us to a salon for it to be trimmed. So I was used of not combing my hair. My routine had been shower, towel (when I'm not in a hurry I don't towel), dress-up and go. When I reached college it was the same thing but I need to have a facial wash with me all the time to freshen up, no make-up, no powder just water and that wash. 

After college I had to put make-up on, a requirement for me to teach? Fine but lip-gloss was all that I've added. Don't get me wrong... I know how to put make-up in fact it was one of my hobbies when I was still a kid. I once wanted to be a make-up artist. I used to play with my mom's make-up but my interest isn't pretty make-up look I practice on doing the scary make-ups imitating the horror movie characters and my favorites are white lady and vampires. So I experiment a lot with scary and realistic looks but I know how to do pretty make-ups too since I used to join events in grade school like dance intermissions, story telling or majorette and one time when I was recruited to an event without prior noticed and it happened that my parents were out of town and all was left were me and my 2 sisters I discovered that I can actually fix myself up without a help from a beautician and people thought I've paid someone to do it and they can't believe it was just me. After that I do the hair and make-up of my sisters in any events unless it's very special then they go to a real make-up artist. But for events like Ateneo dress-up day, my youngest sister was very happy letting me fix her up, from choosing the dress to her hair and make-up. I used to trim her hair too and it wasn't that bad if it's just cutting the length and the bangs, I still do my own bangs from time to time anyways. I had fashion disasters before about cutting it too short but now I've learned from my mistakes and so I still cut my bangs when I feel like I want some hair sticking out my eyes.  (see All Doll'd Up)

But I actually had the time in my life that I enjoyed putting make-up on a daily basis with all those tedious routines that a friend of mine Lauren taught me. It had improved my knowledge about it since I haven't really went into any classes of proper make-up application but now I'm actually considering taking some classes about it maybe after my culinary classes, let's see. So I was in the Metro, a yuppie, independent and single and it was fun to try different things and along with make-ups I started letting someone touch my nails. 


I was addicted to Nail Art
I was almost like my mom and it got to a point where I felt naked without putting some make-up on and my nails seem so dull without polish. Going to a salon became a therapy like how shopping is.

Back to the province and I went back to my old self but at least a little better since I try to take good care of my skin now but to its minimal. The old routine is back with an additional Nivea Body Intensive Milk Lotion only if my skin is too dry so rarely and make-up (sometimes) when I need to leave the house but only these stuff:

I'm actually using only 3 of these things now: eyebrow liner, eyeliner and lipstick.
I used to love mascara but it's such a hassle and too messy and the lip gloss I just realized it's too sticky.
Still don't like to comb my hair and I want it messy looking so after getting tired of a rebonded boring too sleek hair I purposely ruined it by using too much shampoo and well I got what I'd wanted and worst it was too damaged that the hair ends curled up like it was dreads and CUT Encarnacion had actually told me to find other parlors because they can't fix it. Bad salon, they should be closed now such morons. Thess Image Maker only took 2 hours to fix my hair and so now I have to combed it diligently so it wont hate me again, I guess.

And for mani-pedi I go to a salon when I have ingrown if not I use the nail cutters and foot brush... that's it. Though I still want nail art for special occasions where I need to dress up.



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