Speckles n Spectrum

back to basics seemingly-banal adventures of an eclectic modern muser...

"Learning from the Past, Hopes for the Future, and a Life's Journey of making the most of what's at hand."

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"She is trying to rip off Christian idolatry to shore up her talentless, mundane and boring performances," 

says the president of the Catholic League.

The tune features lyrics like: "I want to love you,/but something’s pulling me away from you/Jesus is my virtue, and Judas is the demon I cling to….I’m just a holy fool,/ oh baby he’s so cruel,/ but I’m still in love with Judas, baby.”

I don't know about you but the first time I read these lines during Holy Week through someone that said the song lyrics are disturbing her, well, I thought so too. But rereading it again now and listening to the song as well as doing some research on how people view it hmmm... I think I just changed my mind about the song. (see some buzz about this here and views here.)

Honestly, I'm not a fan of Gaga but I sometimes like to listen to her songs when there's nothing left to be played in my favorite playlist and I like the message of "Born This Way." Though I like how free-spirited she is and how she breaks social norms and being so brave to stand-up and be unique in a world full of confinements and stereotyping. Less to say I admire the boldness and freedom she's exuding but I'm waiting for her to drop the wild fashion sense and start being subtle in terms of clothing. Costumes for performances and music videos are fine but for shopping or everyday wear uh, uh. I know she's doing it to attract attention and she's great in getting people's attention. I even read once somewhere that she used to go bare-naked while playing her piano in a New York stage just so her audience will focus on her. I know it's her thing and that's what makes her unique but she's famous now I think she can return to earth and for christ'ssakes live like a real human. And if she's really aiming to be a role-model of the youth, and I guess she's already is for some well, it's just right for her to start thinking about how influential she is in today's children's mind and start living and doing it right.

So Judas is just another interesting song with a catchy beat that I wouldn't mind to listen to once in a while. About the lyrics, it seems the church is just being a baby with this. Being so touchy about the matter that it was purposefully release during the Lent but it's not really mocking anything. For me the song is just like a sinner's confession of trying to be faithful and good but being affected by demons. Admitting those stuff in a song is not a mortal sin, it is way better than priests molesting children and hiding in their holy cross and still preaching about loving them in God's way. What do the church do about this? Well, they just shuffle the parish assignments of the offender and keep them out of public view. Now those are the things they needed to comment on, as for this talentless gaga as they said but stirring controversies on their church, this is nothing compare to their inside controversies so I might say who are the real hypocrites then?


growing, maturing, nurturing…
sometimes i just want to stop breathing maybe i haven’t felt being truly alive…
maybe all of these are just make believe…
(photo credit)
i am lost in my own time…
or maybe i’m just wasting my time…
i feel i dont belong here…
i am not for this…
maybe i’m still a person waiting to be full grown…
wandering in deep woods for i am lost…
wherever it may leads me someday i may say…
i’ve been around for the journey but i am searching for my destination…
i’m getting tired wandering around the bush… i want to get there if i can then i will…
someday…


This is weird but with all my blog categories I actually find it most difficult writing about myself. To think this is my first week of blog programming and I'm already having a hard time coming up for today's personal post... darn.

It's really hard to write especially if I'm so darn happy. Happiness blurs my thinking caps. Although I wanted to avoid negativities in my blog and I like to write about happy thoughts but writing in a state of bliss is not much too ideal for coming up a sensible post. But I have to stick to my rules and I'm going to try and brake barriers on my writer's block today.

I slept it through and now what? Still struggling for this post. I'm thinking of just posting a Osama Bin Laden is Dead entry but I don't really like posting things in my blog just for the sake of ramping up my blog traffic. I admit there are things I copy and pasted from other websites for the sake of establishing a reference and I don't write things that isn't in my interest or I haven't carefully analyze. It's nice to increase your page views but I won't really stoop down to that level of degrading myself on just riding on with the hype. Besides there are no elaborated facts to prove this for now and the news said President Obama will give a statement later today about the matter.

And this is what differentiate my blog from other bloggers and I'm proud of it. I'll make sure that what I have here are things that you won't see in just another website by providing original content whenever possible. I've read in another blog that you will rarely see a blog or a post titled "My Life" get high page views but I really don't care. I won't exchange my values for the price of web traffic, I'm blogging for personal reasons but if people like to visit my blog it's all fine with me and it's a plus if they took some time to comment on my entries. I'm extra grateful for that.

Hmmm... ok, I'm just going to make this all fun and light so anything sensitive and personal you might find here just shrugged it off and laugh about it for all wounds are healed so no worries I find it all just good to reminisce and smile about. Maybe we can all learn a few things on these, hope so.

Since I'm all set for fashion blogging I'd like to talk about why on earth would a plus size like me wanted to join the army of skinny fashion bloggers? Disclaimer: I'm not joining the LookBook. I like checking it out but I don't think I'm up for that challenge: everyday look post, branded stuff, different places, poses, etc. And I can't find someone who would like to do the photography for me of course for free, I won't really waste money for this and for the fact that I'm not good in projecting in camera unless I'm the only one in the room that's why my better pictures are all taken by me. Besides I think those are for model wannabes and well, they all look like real models and most of them are anyways. Didn't I tell you I am more of a photographer wannabe and I like to be The Sartorialist one day. (Oops this is supposed to be a secret, sorry it slips) Street Fashion watch in Bicol. Watch out people, hope you won't think I'm a weird stalker taking your pretty photos.

Why Fashion blog?

Simply because I'd like to make a point that size doesn't matter, ok, fine it does sometimes but hey, that's why I'm here. I'm going to prove that being a plus size doesn't mean you'll get stuck in a plain old boring men's shirt, big pants and shorts outfit and fashion isn't just for people with dollars on their pockets. Being you is priceless and creativity doesn't cost much. So live life and celebrate the beauty of it. Take it from me, I've learned that in a hard way.

I once been too depress about my size last year and I know that many too are experiencing it so I'd like to be brave enough to let others know that they're not alone on the battle. People always talk about changing yourself but you can never deal or fix something if you're not going to face it first. Exercise might be a solution but it won't be in some extra cases so the best advice I can actually offer is acceptance. Acknowledging the fact and dealing with it by making the most of the situation.


Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass It's about learning to dance in the rain


When I was 55kg and measures 34-27-38 people were teasing me that I'm fat. Now that I almost double that stats they're all like "Oh my you're so fat." So what's the fuss then? The only difference is the word "SO" and yes SO what? I'm still prettier than most of you. I can always choose to start loosing weight but you can never fix your fugly faces in this lifetime. (Oops, crap. Shut up you wench. Ha ha. I sounded like a self-absorbed overweight piece of sheyt.)

Well this is what they say about me "you're pretty, you just need to lose weight." At least now I know that they actually find me pretty. On second thoughts maybe it's just a consolation not to hurt me much. Pretty to sugar-coat the word Fat. Honestly, this doesn't bother me anymore. But I won't be a hypocrite I still want to lose weight of course but I always joke about it when told to exercise "Yeah, I will tomorrow, not now because it's already late in the day."

Last year, my big 2010 where I fattened up like a pig I got too depressed that just after 3 months of hibernating my favorite clothes don't fit anymore. Right now let's live in the present tense shall we? I've gathered myself and face the odds. Sold my pretty clothes (hu hu) and start hunting for plus size fit. I'm a plus size, overweight, obese, fat, anything you would like to call it but it won't stop me for being myself and enjoying the world. I embrace what's now and I make the most of what's at hand. I'm raising the plus size banner and waiving the freedom flag. Forget about those who'd like to discriminate and make fun of our size, they're not worth it. It's either they can't afford to buy food, they're bulimic or they have their metabolism working so fine but don't envy them they probably don't have a life too that's why they waste time and keep picking on you.

Just for the record there are Size Zero debates going on in the Fashion World. They are banning size zero models and preferring healthy looking models now. (see Skeletons on the Runway) But this still doesn't eliminate the truth that I need to lose weight but it sure is better for every women for we can't all be skinny as hell like those professional models but we can always be ourselves and dress up like real humans.

I haven't seen real plus size fashion blogger yet if there's any those were people that write about fashion but never really post their own pictures... why is that? I don't know.

Disclaimer: I'm not a professional stylist, fashion editor or whatever fashion guru people you have there. My fashion blog will just be a personal stuff. I'd like to collect things for everything about fashion, tips, dresses, styles and anything goes. I'm also going to post a lookbook-ish entry every 3rd Wednesday of the month, please be kind to my plus size post. Hear this "I am not a Model, I'm just a bad role model." (another crap, sorry, can't help being bitchy...hehe)

When someone says "How do you actually manage to carry yourself in that dress?" I simply say because this is me and I love being me. When am I supposed to dress this way? When I'm all wrinkled and 60? I don't think so. It's not like I'm showing too much skin. I know the rules so I won't make that mistake of breaking it.

It's a given fact that I am fat but it's an accomplishment and my sort of good deed for myself that I can look good in any size I'm in. It's better to be fat and fashionable than skinny but fugly. There's no excuse for not loving yourself.


(photo credit)


Edit:

I change my mind about lookbooking and I've searched for plus size bloggers and I've found about 31 present in Lookbook and a few more in Chictopia and I was like, so I consider myself plus size? Darn, they're really huge, so ok, I'm petite plus size compare to them bahaha...

But it's so fun looking at big girls with pretty fashion sense and oozing personality. I know it needs guts to be out there and it takes a lot of 'em.

Kudos to all the big girls celebrating life and fashion! Cheers!




The clock strikes 12 and it's May. Yippee fiesta month and as promise I'm going to start getting serious on food blogging. Wish me luck. I would like to establish my background about food. I've been eating since I can remember... he he Seriously, main dish cooking background came from Papa and baking and desserts knowledge came from Mama. (more about that on my personal blog post)

So here's my own version of Campbell's Northern Style Lasagna converted into a baked mac for quantity purposes. This is a more budget friendly recipe and twisted to Filipinos taste buds but if you would want to have the original recipe feel free to message me.

Baked Mac n Spectrum

3 tbsp cooking oil
5 tbsp butter (optional)
1 clove chopped garlic
1 whole chopped red onion
2 pieces diced green bell pepper
750g Del Monte Tomato & Cheese Pasta Sauce
½ kg ground beef
10 pieces thinly sliced Purefoods Tender Juicy Hotdog (optional)
1 can Campbell's condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup
1/2 soup can milk
450g grated Eden cheese
200g grated Magnolia Quickmelt
2 packs of 500g Colavita Penne Rigate or 1 kg Del Monte elbow macaroni
salt and black ground pepper 


How to mess it up:


You can fill 2 of these containers
using 1 kg Del Monte elbow macaroni 
1. Cook noodles according to package instruction.
2. In a small bowl combine Mushroom Soup and milk.
3. In a heated pan pour cooking oil, add the onions when garlic is already golden brown. In low-medium heat cook the hotdogs while adding the butter. When hotdogs are all bright red and cooked add the ground beef. Cooked until meat is browned and is thoroughly cooked and no pink remains, stirring once during cooking to separate meat. Seasoned with black pepper and salt. Stir in spaghetti sauce, let it simmer then add the soup mixture in Step #2. 
4. Add all the Eden cheese to the sauce. Stir to make sure that it melts and well distributed within the mixture. Taste your sauce and then seasoned with salt if you think it needs a little more pinch of it.
5. Turn off the heat and add the green bell pepper, set aside at least ¼ for toppings.
6. Add the noodles into the sauce and pour it into a baking pan. Top it with the quickmelt and sprinkle the remaining green bell peppers. Make sure it is evenly distributed and more cheese added the better looking your baked mac will be.
7. Baked for at least 30 minutes at 375 F (190 C) or until the top cheese melted. 

* You can substitute hotdogs with mushrooms.
* This dish taste improves better even after 3 days stack in your fridge. Just reheat it in the microwave and add quickmelt on top if you prefer having every serving with food presentation and add your garlic bread then It's good to go.

2 packs of 500g Colavita Penne Rigate will make 2 servings of this.


I share the same sentiments with you dear, Enough!
(see Frowning Flower Girl  rules Internet)
So how's your day that finally this is over? Probably not yet since there are postmortem buzz still about this Windsor Knot. I must say I'm a bit neutral... wait... that's at first then it turned into annoyance for I felt this had been overly sensationalized months before the actual event. 

Well, I admit I'm never a fan. But I'm a curious cat and I especially wanting to see the cakes more than the dress. Oh well, sorry I'm more of a foodie in this case since I know that the dress will probably be boring. I'm basing from Princess D's and for the fact that they can't wear gowns that will show their arms in Westminster Abbey and I'm not a big fan of wedding dresses.  

Are those what it looks like seems popping out?
It turns out that it was fine. Classy, simple, elegant but there's one thing that bothers me about the dress. Take a look at this pic --->>> 

Maybe I'm being a little conservative but hey aren't they? No sleeveless gown and no kissing inside the church but these --->>>

Uhm, maybe it's padding but still they should have double check it so it's not that vivid even if it's not what it seems to be, right? Enough of that I think I'm being senseless here. 

Why did I actually waste my time with this? Because it's the hype, probably but I've other reasons too. I've tons of questions and I want answers so here I am. And I think all the socialites in the world are social climbing to actually be invited into this event. Uhm, not really worth it, I don't know but I'm neither socialite nor wanting the invites. Watching them going crazy over the live feed in the net is more of my thing for I can comment and make fun (?) of silly stuff (?) Ha ha.

It's not a secret that this is the most famed existing monarchy and like any other I'm much curious of some stuff they do, yes just SOME traditions and all that.

Here's my list of differences from our tradition here:

1. Exchange Vows - we usually do it at the end of the ceremony but them it took place at the start. Maybe to make sure no one changes their minds until the end perhaps? He he

2. There's no "Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace" line coming from the priest. For sure if this was asked a lot will raise their hands, crazy little girls dreaming for prince charming peeps, eh?

3. No wedding godparents or Primary Sponsors and also no Secondary Sponsors. (see Philippine Wedding Entourage for the complete list)


4. The groom and bride are not seated in the middle of the altar. They look like just another guests sitting along with the nuns in a little corner. I'm curious what's the purpose of the 2 nuns sharing the same space with them?


5. The rings aren't from the ring bearer. There's no ring bearer I guess. There's just flower girls and little boys in little uniforms. Perhaps the rings are too expensive to let a little boy carry those, eh?


Did Lady Gaga design Princess Beatrice’s hat
6. Everybody's like wearing hats. We're not even allowed here to do that inside the church. This is the weirdest of all >>>


Would you believe there are 14 Facebook pages that pop up dedicated to  this royal wedding hat of Princess Beatrice... tsk.tsk. (see Cthulhu hat a bold choice for royal wedding)


7. There are no images of saints or Jesus in their church. They are Anglicans and they obviously don't do the sign of cross either. Don't ask me about the religion please.


8. This wedding is actually pretty simple if you're not going to count the hefty price tags of everyone's clothing.  But compare to our tradition here that spends thousands for decorating the church, Westminster Abbey is elegant but simple enough. There are no adornments like tons of ribbons and bouquets of flowers on the aisle just the red carpet.


9. No arms baring.


10. Yes, we all know NO "you may kiss the bride."  They said it's just a Hollywood thing and not British royalty's.


After the boring wedding. Yes I found it boring so do Josh Groban well, maybe or else he wouldn't felt sleepy , right? 



The real reason why I was watching is to get a glimpse of the food, yeah especially the cakes and all I got are text... aargh! (see The Lunchtime Reception)

Good thing I fell asleep writing this entry and now when I woke up pictures are all over the net of the wedding cakes... yey, that's all I'm after for all this hype. (will be posting the pics and recipes on my food entries maybe next week)

Some people are actually smirking on the Duke of Cambridge for choosing a not so fancy groom's cake for his wedding. (see Chocolate McVities Biscuit Cake)

I've learned a few more things about a tradition. I don't know if it exist too in some other countries this is the first time I've heard of this. 
Many brides include something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue in their wedding getups. (see Kate's very fancy something old, new, borrowed and blue)

If it were here in my country probably there will be people striking against the wedding after all they are spending people's tax money in this expensive wedding while England's is not past yet recession aftermath. Millions had been spent for the security alone and it must be really hard now seeing the royals choosing a cheap champagne to serve over an important personal event. Even royal blooded princesses need to be on a budget. Nice to know we're not alone on that side.  

And for this embedded live streaming video of the Royal Wedding at the bottom of my entry... hmmm, I'd like to see it here just for a little keepsake... ha ha and best wishes to the newly wed. Hope it last, make the expenses be worth it. Royalty or not it is the love that binds the marriage that is most important. 

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Watch live streaming video from royalwedding at livestream.com











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