Ik I said on my last FB post that I will cancel all my social media accounts and I did but I still need an outlet so I'm back where I started: blogging.
I guess it is better this way since the people who will visit this blog are those who are really interested about things I post and I don't need to shove to people's faces a.k.a. their newsfeed my eccentricities.
Let me clear things up. I gave up the social media accounts because I'm getting tired of idk who, who are trying to control the things that I do online. Btw it is still happening as of this writing. The nerve of these people cuz the last time I checked I didn't sign any contract that's binding me in any kind of obligations following anyone's rules whether it is about stuff that I access online or post.
The last thing that I need now is another tyrant who wanted to dominate my life. I've had enough that's why I escaped my toxic family but I never expected that the things that I love and my way of experiencing freedom through expressions and creativity will lead me into another pit of controlling individuals. I'm starting to wonder... do I look like a 7 year old to y'all? Am I not matured enough to make my own decisions in life that you need to force things on me or maybe I'm one gambling bet that all stakes are way too high that's why you needed to redirect me every time?
It kinda feels like a tug-of-war game. The minute I decided I want something you pull it away. Why does it seems like you are recreating my depressed eps where you try to deprive me of the essentials that I value the most. I love teaching online and that's one of my passions yet you are hindering me from that commitment. I ain't the kind of person who wants to play all day posting Tiktok vids unless it pays me to do all those stuff then I'd love to.
I love working and earning money because it gives me a sense of fulfillment for paying the bills and all my responsibilities but y'all seem don't want that. Ain't working makes me feel like a useless piece of shit that doesn't have the right to be in other apps. No work, no pay thus no play. We are talking about priorities here and it's kinda like you want me to get stuck in this situation so a freaking Prince Charming can save me. I ain't a damsel in distress and if you think you can control me this way... well, think again.
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| You can dim what surrounds me but there will always be that certain light who will illuminates what is serene inside me. |
I tell you, you can manipulate all the forces outside of me but I will never let you touch my core. I will respond to your nuances the way I want. You might have made a business out of me but what I do with my life is always up to me. It's none of your frakkin damn business. Live and let live.
Want me to bow down to you? Make me that is if you even have the balls. I'm tougher than y'all think. You don't know me and let's all leave it that way.
I don't have a clue what are your plans for me but I tell you one thing: if this is all about finding me a better half... nuh uh I ain't gonna sign up for that. Thanks but no thanks. I don't need another half, I AM WHOLE, a complete entity on my own but if it's a business deal... let's sit down, I'm all ears.
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