Speckles n Spectrum

I started writing in a diary when I was 10 years old. In that young of an
age I already needed an outlet for my thoughts. I am an ordinary though all-around kid, an academic achiever and excel also in the extra-curricular activities. Like any other kid I love playing but it consists of variety of things. From typical outdoor games like hide-and-seek, running, Chinese garter, Siato (a native game) to cooking, sewing doll clothes, making wigs out of real hair, scrabble, drawing, brick game and family computer. But unlike any other child my love for reading, poetry, arts and writing is very apparent at a tender age.

Original Reasons for a Diary
At first I just wanted to have something to do and it started out merely as a hobby. Then when I have no one to tell my secrets to I turn to my diary. It helps me think and understand myself more. When I was in high school I was inspired by The Sweet Valley Twin journals to continue my writings. And I was planning of documenting my life through my diary and enjoy analyzing myself and how I had become from the span of my years on earth.

From Journals to Blogs
When Friendster had introduced the option of blogging I've tried it out and became addicted to it. I have several blogs after that but none of them standout and the most current one would be a blog in FilipinoLovers which leads me into making this formal blog that I promise to myself I will update from now on. The mere reason for my switch from the ordinary pen and paper diary is because no matter how I love writing I simply don't want it handwritten. My handwriting is good and people usually ask me to write on boards during seminars, classes, etc. but it gets sweaty and sometimes I feel it gets numb and just freezes so I resorted to have my diaries saved in a personal computer but once it crashes then my files are nowhere to be found and yes it did happen to me so many times that almost more than half of my college experiences and thoughts are now in oblivion. So that's when I've preferred blogging since I'll be able to access everything through the web without hassle and with a peace of mind since it will always be there available for me.

At first I've hidden it from all my friends. As secretive as I am when I was still a kid I don't want anybody to read about my thoughts because I feel bare-naked when someone happened to do that with my writings. But as time went on I've matured and had relaxed about myself, from self-conscious I became self-aware which makes the transition easier.

Why I Still Blog?
Part of it are my reasons from childhood for having a journal. It whiles away my time, writing is a hobby that will never cease coming from the passion of my heart. I can say now that I know myself well because of the help of my journals but I've been through a lot to be at peace with myself now. But I still believe that self-discovery is a continuous process, it is dynamic and never ending for everyday we get to change a little and as we grow old it sheds out our real self revealing to us who we really are but we are amazed that it's what we've always been since we were kids but better, clearer and more realistic. Yes, our childhood is the foundation of our beings and our values and beliefs that rooted from that time are still intact in our hearts but are more sharpened to fit who we are now, a mature and responsible version of ourselves.

Blogging helps me get nearer and nearer to my realizations in life and to my reality as well. It helps me reconnect to my being and connect my being to my soul. And yes as always it helps me understand who I am in the present and who will I become in the future as I've learned from my past.

And now in addition to the reasons is so that I can live on a legacy to my future kids. I am not wealthy or anything like that but as what not-so-well-off parents often say and maybe this is already a cliché but I know it is still true that "Education or Knowledge is the only treasure we can afford for an inheritance to our kids."

My blog isn't about perfection or highly educational stuff that deserves a Nobel prize or anything like that sort but my thoughts will serve as an example of how I've lived an ordinary life and manage to be a good person despite of the hardships and trials. I am not a nagger and I don't like to preach things for I am not a saint but I want my blog to be a sentimental thing, a part of me that I want to share with my kids and grandkids. And I hope this will impart to them the deepest of my being that when they relive the entries here they had known me deeper and we connected through this which will made them realized that I am a person who have experienced life as how others are and not just a passerby that will be a stranger to the future generation of my own.

It is a legacy I wanted to leave to my family. The gift of writing and the love for learning. I may not always be around but I know for sure that part of me lives on through my blogs.

So here it is a NEW beginning to a long journey of my final blog about life...

(photo credit)