Speckles n Spectrum

back to basics seemingly-banal adventures of an eclectic modern muser...

"Learning from the Past, Hopes for the Future, and a Life's Journey of making the most of what's at hand."

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101 Truths About Me: #8 I'm a hopeless romantic.

It may never show but I am a hopeless romantic ever since. I enjoy sappy movies, crappy love songs sometimes but never much in the open or out loud.

All my life, my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name.
--- Andre Breton

I don't know but my outer shell screams punk and rock but my inner core is a soft marshmallow swelling up for petty romantic stuff.

Maybe it's because I never really had a real boyfriend in a sense that all my bfs are net bfs. I also always joke about love stuff being eww but deep inside I've been longing for Mr. Right, for that one soulmate who will lend his ears and heart even for a while to comfort me and eases my hollow soul.

This is the only time I'll ever admit it there are times when I glance around and see couples and I felt envious and kept wondering for my other half too, my special someone. Maybe I've been way to good of a pretender, pretending I didn't need anybody, pretending I'm tough enough to survive all these mess alone in my lifetime. But today I'm brave enough to face reality. I'm just a girl wanting to be loved, waiting to be loved. I am still a feminist, boyish and all that but I have that side and it's claiming its rightful place in my soul, my mind, and my body. On top of my lungs I wanted to scream and let that little girl inside me out, that little girl who always wanted to be pampered. That little girl who's always been a princess but never wanted to be a damsel in distress.

Life is such a mystery sometimes a misery and sometimes a magical fantasy-reality. One day I'll hope to meet my prince not riding a mighty chariot but just merely smiling at the sight of my pretty face wanting to love me without the expectations of a masterpiece, wanting to share his life with me without pretenses, wanting to breath the same air with me, share the laughter and the tears of living, the joy of love and the grace of God.

Someday, for now I'll just let it be praying that destiny, fate, faith, love and all that will do magic to fulfill my very own fairytale.

A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. 


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