Speckles n Spectrum

Why is rebounding inhumane?

So you just had your heart wrenching breakup then the next day you're back in the dating scene wanting to find another human who will fix your broken heart… familiar? Yes it’s called rebound. My point of view says rebounding is inhumane. You haven’t healed yet here you are flirting with yet another victim. I say NO to rebound, it makes me sick. Please be considerate enough that the next person you are going to date right after your break up is a clear victim of your circumstances. The right way to heal is not dating right away. Take time to reflect, rethink, review, reevaluate what went wrong in your previous relationship that way you will be able to figure out what happened and how to prevent it from happening again. Rebounding victimized the next person after the breakup. You will bleed in a slight instance of the same situation you experienced with your previous partner and unhealed people tend to bleed everywhere without proper healing. Take time to know yourself more, understand your feelings, heal your inner child, introspect, retrospect, analyze, regulate, calm your nervous system and anything else that can address all the hurt and wash it off with realizations.

Rebounding is cruel because you start on an uneven ground. The next person will suffer from your instability, confusion, hurt, and all sorts of feelings that haven't been addressed yet from a fresh breakup. Rebounds rarely last because of these factors. It’s unfair for the next person to be there and just comfort you for most times you are still bleeding. Never date anyone when you haven’t had any peace in your life because it will only cause temporary relationships. If you really love yourself, take the time to heal on your own. You don’t need an immediate replacement, you need more time to know yourself better. The right one will come along when you are already whole and ready to love not in fragments but wholeheartedly. May you all heal through God’s grace. I’m bouncing off.

Your kids will never have the option to choose their father but you can always choose the father of your kids. And that’s a fact you can never ignore or just shoved away or brush off. When society just tells you that it’s just okay to settle for someone as long as they make you happy is bullshit. Choosing the right person is very integral in your lifelong success in this world. A partner doesn’t just need to have money, money is a necessity but it won’t suffice in the long run. You need a partner that has the capacity to accommodate all your needs. Who can understand you even in chaos and confusion. Who stays calm and collected when you have a sudden outburst. When you are having tantrums or you're angry a perfect partner is someone who can regulate you or calm you, not get angrier when things are getting out of hand. You need someone who speaks respect, peace, and relaxes your nervous system not make you flair up more. 

Mind you DNA and genes are important too. Remember most things are hereditary, you wouldn’t want bad manners inherited by your offspring. That short fuse, that criminal and vindictive mind, that rudeness, the unethical ideologies, the disrespectful behavior, etc. You know what I mean. There might be things that might not be hereditary but remember kids learn from witnessing behavior and actions and bad manners might not be hereditary but it’s observable and acquirable, and you don’t want that ever. I don’t know about you but I don’t want those characteristics passed on to my kids, not now, not ever.

This isn’t just about finding the right partner, it's also about doing the work to be the right partner. Finding the better half is becoming the better half as well. You can't attract someone if you haven’t worked on becoming the right one too. This goes both ways. You don’t have the right to demand something you yourself can’t put on the table too. Relationships are not always fairy tales, they have their ups and downs and the one thing you need is a person who makes it more difficult and complicated. You need someone who’ll be there to ease the pain and balance things out, someone who will share the burden not add to it and you need to be someone who’s willing too to share the load and not to add more to it. You both need to share the same values and moralities and be willing to be partners in crime to make this relationship work. It’s not rocket science, it's just a matter of true love. Love may not be enough but it is enough to wholeheartedly change for the better. May you all find the love that you truly deserve. Ciao.

Who do you think is the catalyst of corruption?

If you are going to ask Filipinos who is to blame for widespread corruption in the Philippines, you’ll eventually get the common answer: the politicians. But let me enlighten you—corruption did not just spring up overnight; it happened gradually. Let me open your mind to the root cause of this problem. It’s not a politician who started it. Ready to be awakened? Here we go.

Remember that small favor you asked—maybe a case of beer because it was your birthday? A few cents for your merienda? Or those uniforms for your basketball league? Do these things ring a bell? Of course they do. Your small favors during the campaign sessions, taken out of a running candidate’s own pocket, are the true triggers of corruption. Who would spend millions out of their own pocket during an election and not retrieve it back from the government’s vault once they are already in position?

You think 500 pesos is enough to sell your vote? Yes, 500 is enough for a day’s meal, but what will happen in the coming days? If you think a politician started the culture of corruption in the Philippines, I kid you not, because they didn't. It was the citizens who started it all. Small favors in exchange for big ones—like your dignity, your entire family tree's descendants' freedom from debt, and your overall quality of life.

Your loyalty to a personality won’t do any good for you when all they want is to gain back what they spent during the election period. 500 pesos in exchange for the whole country’s suffering. It’s ironic that when you watch your K-Dramas or teleseryes, you know exactly which side to take—of course, you side with the protagonist because they fight for what is right and moral. But why can’t you see that the politicians you are worshiping aren't the protagonists in this decades-long story of corruption? Why is it that in beauty pageants we hold the highest standards for the winner, but you are all blindsided when it comes to your public servants? Why are you just brushing off the reality that you started this culture of corruption? Until you keep ignoring the red flags and change your ways, we will forever be stuck in this black hole.

Stop soliciting from politicians; your birthday celebration is not their obligation. Stick to what is right. The only thing that we should ask from people in power is good governance and the proper use of our tax money for services, infrastructure, and the vital needs of the citizens—like education, healthcare, and public safety. Your personal needs, like birthday parties and any other personal occasions in your life, do not require tax money. It's personal, so stop asking government officials for your whims and start working your ass off to fulfill your wants.

As a citizen of this country, we have a duty to the Philippines to act as responsible members. We are here to help our country progress, not add to its burden. When we all change our ways and start acting like responsible citizens, we will be able to eliminate corruption and other illegal activities. Start by voting with dignity, then clean up your act. We are no longer kids, so act like a mature adult with accountability. This isn't a blame game. This is an awakening. Gising, Pilipinas, Gising!