Your kids will never have the option to choose their father but you can always choose the father of your kids. And that’s a fact you can never ignore or just shoved away or brush off. When society just tells you that it’s just okay to settle for someone as long as they make you happy is bullshit. Choosing the right person is very integral in your lifelong success in this world. A partner doesn’t just need to have money, money is a necessity but it won’t suffice in the long run. You need a partner that has the capacity to accommodate all your needs. Who can understand you even in chaos and confusion. Who stays calm and collected when you have a sudden outburst. When you are having tantrums or you're angry a perfect partner is someone who can regulate you or calm you, not get angrier when things are getting out of hand. You need someone who speaks respect, peace, and relaxes your nervous system not make you flair up more.
Mind you DNA and genes are important too. Remember most things are hereditary, you wouldn’t want bad manners inherited by your offspring. That short fuse, that criminal and vindictive mind, that rudeness, the unethical ideologies, the disrespectful behavior, etc. You know what I mean. There might be things that might not be hereditary but remember kids learn from witnessing behavior and actions and bad manners might not be hereditary but it’s observable and acquirable, and you don’t want that ever. I don’t know about you but I don’t want those characteristics passed on to my kids, not now, not ever.
This isn’t just about finding the right partner, it's also about doing the work to be the right partner. Finding the better half is becoming the better half as well. You can't attract someone if you haven’t worked on becoming the right one too. This goes both ways. You don’t have the right to demand something you yourself can’t put on the table too. Relationships are not always fairy tales, they have their ups and downs and the one thing you need is a person who makes it more difficult and complicated. You need someone who’ll be there to ease the pain and balance things out, someone who will share the burden not add to it and you need to be someone who’s willing too to share the load and not to add more to it. You both need to share the same values and moralities and be willing to be partners in crime to make this relationship work. It’s not rocket science, it's just a matter of true love. Love may not be enough but it is enough to wholeheartedly change for the better. May you all find the love that you truly deserve. Ciao.
