Speckles n Spectrum

Twas Never Easy

by kris10na ☮♥☺ Thoughts (3)

Blogging in general has never been easy...

but despite the odds it's always been fun

though sometimes tedious when I'm not in the mood for my blah, blah, blah

People accuse you of being self-absorbed, narcissistic or vain though I'm a bit of it all... haha

Seriously everyone is self-absorbed sometimes and I admit I'm a bit of a narcissist but never vain.

I spend so much time a long time ago seeing my flaws in the mirror, I'm a different kind of Narcissa I guess.

This picture is ugly, I know.

If journal blogging invites too much ridicule what more is fashion blogging eh?

Especially for plus size women like me.

Someone said I promote obesity for being out and loud proclaiming I'm plus size.

But WTH not everyone can be Size Zero?

I'm just saying "whatever body you're in, own it and be comfortable with your own skin."

There's nothing wrong wanting to lose weight

but since I'm still stuck with this I guess I have to enjoy the perks of being plus size... sarcasm bleh

Arts, Fashion, Aesthetics or whatever isn't superficiality if you don't obsess with it.

I like simple things, I like to enjoy life and by enjoying life I mean celebrating every sense of it.

This is self-expression and creativity if you can't understand that not my damn problem anymore.

But I'll bet my 2 cents on this that my way of life is as simple as it can get.

Freedom... it is.

My inhibitions are out.

I won't let anyone eat me out without a fight.

Life is what you make it.

Stand up and fight even if the reflection screaming at you isn't always looking as good as your best.

Twas Never Easy

Blue Pearl Boutique Oversized Boho printed dress

Tiendesitas yellow bangle

black and yellow flowered ring

Ethnic yellow-gold earrings

Rusty Lopez purple strappy sandals

I made this last Saturday, my own version of Spring Rolls or Lumpia. It could be fried or fresh but because I got lazy I just preferred fried. But I guess if I were a bit strict on healthy eating I'll choose the latter. Anyways, what's done is done so here it is another hearty meal except for the extra corn oil bleh.

Speckled Spring Rolls (Cheddar Tuna Herbs & Sprouted Lumpia in Olive Oil with 3 kinds of Dips)

olive oil

garlic

red onions

tuna

sprouted

iodized salt (to taste)

marjoram

thyme

cheddar

corn oil

molo wrappers

Pour Olive Oil in a heated pan.

Saute garlic until brown and add onions.
Toast the tuna for a bit then add sprouted and a slice of butter.
Let it cook for a few minutes while tossing it to prevent burning.

Let the mixture cool for a while and get ready to roll it with the molo wrappers.
Add cheese on top of 1/2 tablespoon mixture.

I used molo wrappers because it's what's available at that time
and 2 pieces of wrappers per piece of spring rolls for it's a bit brittle for the Lumpia mixture.

Pan fry the spring rolls in Corn Oil.

Serve with any dips you like.
I have 3 dips here:
mayo with catsup
mang tomas
jufran sweet chili sauce

Sometimes the wind whispers your name and I'm mesmerized...

by kris10na ☮♥☺ Thoughts (0)

It was a bit rainy that night and I've nowhere to go so I hang out for quite sometime in the Gazebo of Metropolitan Cathedral which explains the wet lining of the skirt... haha.

While I was busy taking these photos there was another photographer snapping a few shots behind my back. If only he didn't have a camera it could have been weird. But there a few more who were there and didn't.

I hate it when I wanted some "ME" time and people are popping out in the place where I'm chilling.

I know I don't own the place but still I don't like nosy people who show up just to check

what you're doing when you're just listening to music with your laptop on full speaker volume

and taking snaps alone outside the church
unless they want to strike up a conversation that would be a lot better.

The rain had stopped and the wind started to blow my hair.

It carries the name of thy faith and I've nothing left to do but be mesmerized by the beauty of the moment.

Come... sit a while and think with me.

Sometimes the wind whispers your name and I'm mesmerized...

blue metallic headband
kultura rose bamboo earrings

ethnic-patterned backless shirt

cotton full skirt

skechers cali sandals

butterfly large bag from dv

Head-Over-Heels

by kris10na ☮♥☺ Thoughts (1)

101 Truths About Me: #8 I'm a hopeless romantic.

It may never show but I am a hopeless romantic ever since. I enjoy sappy movies, crappy love songs sometimes but never much in the open or out loud.

All my life, my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name.
--- Andre Breton

(photo credit)

I don't know but my outer shell screams punk and rock but my inner core is a soft marshmallow swelling up for petty romantic stuff.

Maybe it's because I never really had a real boyfriend in a sense that all my bfs are net bfs. I also always joke about love stuff being eww but deep inside I've been longing for Mr. Right, for that one soulmate who will lend his ears and heart even for a while to comfort me and eases my hollow soul.

This is the only time I'll ever admit it there are times when I glance around and see couples and I felt envious and kept wondering for my other half too, my special someone. Maybe I've been way to good of a pretender, pretending I didn't need anybody, pretending I'm tough enough to survive all these mess alone in my lifetime. But today I'm brave enough to face reality. I'm just a girl wanting to be loved, waiting to be loved. I am still a feminist, boyish and all that but I have that side and it's claiming its rightful place in my soul, my mind, and my body. On top of my lungs I wanted to scream and let that little girl inside me out, that little girl who always wanted to be pampered. That little girl who's always been a princess but never wanted to be a damsel in distress.

Life is such a mystery sometimes a misery and sometimes a magical fantasy-reality. One day I'll hope to meet my prince not riding a mighty chariot but just merely smiling at the sight of my pretty face wanting to love me without the expectations of a masterpiece, wanting to share his life with me without pretenses, wanting to breath the same air with me, share the laughter and the tears of living, the joy of love and the grace of God.

Someday, for now I'll just let it be praying that destiny, fate, faith, love and all that will do magic to fulfill my very own fairytale.

A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.

--- Thomas Carlyle

(photo credit)

Be Good Anyway

by kris10na ☮♥☺ Thoughts (0)

Honestly when I said in the last entry that I am fulfilled I meant it but being fulfilled doesn't mean not having problems, not being pissed and, all just happy things. You wouldn't know how much you love something if all it gives you is a feeling of high and being in cloud 9. As I've mentioned in one of my poems "flowers meet adversity to bloom." You can't be complete as a person if you haven't experienced misery.

I realized I was indeed in love with my job. I was pissed yesterday and as a result I've eaten way too much than I can chew. Thank God I didn't vomit all of that. I don't want to share work stuff that much I believe it should be private and things aren't supposed to be discussed openly in such a blog like this. But I'd like to state that I wasn't angry at all I'm just disappointed because it seems the more effort I give, the more kindness I share it always ends up in the drain.

But I find fulfillment in these things for I like to follow this:

People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest person with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest person with the smallest mind.
Think big anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack if you help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you might get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

Dr. Kent M. Keith

I don't want to be bitter. I know I'm just getting started and it's too early for me to give up. It's hard to keep up with people with different perspectives for I cannot please everybody and I don't want to please everybody. I am not a machine, a robot that will bow with your every whims but I believe that I have a duty to accomplish, a vision to fill, and a mission to oneself that I needed to give my best shot.

My actions may be misinterpreted by others but I'm not forcing anyone to believe in all these stuff for as I've said I'm doing things for thyself, for my own fulfillment. I may be selfish at that but at least my dreams include others so that separates me to ordinary selfish lurking souls.

My cousin said "You cannot give anything that you don't have." I guess I have love, understanding, kindness, and a lot more inside me which is now overflowing and that which I'd like to share. It's just difficult to make some people realize how true it can be for right now in this world not too many have this kind of eagerness towards life.

For this I thank the one above me for giving me all the strength to face this head-on. It's difficult to stand up for yourself when it seems everyone is ganging up on you and were all like just waiting for you to trip, fall down, and commit one big mistake so they can bid you goodbye. But still I'll stand up and stay strong holding to my faith for there is nothing that can make me falter with the grace of protection bestowed upon me by thy savior.

From now on I say, "Life is what we make it." Having good faith is better than being bitter but it doesn't mean I'm just going to smile and let people trample upon me to the point that I'll lose my self-respect. I have too much patience but there is always that fine line that flashes a red light when you're already crossing the line or going overboard and I won't hesitate to claim that right and shout "foul." I can be nice (even way too nice in fact) but when my patience snaps never tell me that I didn't warn you. But don't worry there's still that little signage flashing over my head that says "be good anyway."