Honestly when I said in the last entry that I am fulfilled I meant it but being fulfilled doesn't mean not having problems, not being pissed and, all just happy things. You wouldn't know how much you love something if all it gives you is a feeling of high and being in cloud 9. As I've mentioned in one of my poems "flowers meet adversity to bloom." You can't be complete as a person if you haven't experienced misery.
I realized I was indeed in love with my job. I was pissed yesterday and as a result I've eaten way too much than I can chew. Thank God I didn't vomit all of that. I don't want to share work stuff that much I believe it should be private and things aren't supposed to be discussed openly in such a blog like this. But I'd like to state that I wasn't angry at all I'm just disappointed because it seems the more effort I give, the more kindness I share it always ends up in the drain.
But I find fulfillment in these things for I like to follow this:
People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest person with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest person with the smallest mind.
Think big anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack if you help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you might get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
Dr. Kent M. Keith
I don't want to be bitter. I know I'm just getting started and it's too early for me to give up. It's hard to keep up with people with different perspectives for I cannot please everybody and I don't want to please everybody. I am not a machine, a robot that will bow with your every whims but I believe that I have a duty to accomplish, a vision to fill, and a mission to oneself that I needed to give my best shot.
My actions may be misinterpreted by others but I'm not forcing anyone to believe in all these stuff for as I've said I'm doing things for thyself, for my own fulfillment. I may be selfish at that but at least my dreams include others so that separates me to ordinary selfish lurking souls.
My cousin said "You cannot give anything that you don't have." I guess I have love, understanding, kindness, and a lot more inside me which is now overflowing and that which I'd like to share. It's just difficult to make some people realize how true it can be for right now in this world not too many have this kind of eagerness towards life.
For this I thank the one above me for giving me all the strength to face this head-on. It's difficult to stand up for yourself when it seems everyone is ganging up on you and were all like just waiting for you to trip, fall down, and commit one big mistake so they can bid you goodbye. But still I'll stand up and stay strong holding to my faith for there is nothing that can make me falter with the grace of protection bestowed upon me by thy savior.
From now on I say, "Life is what we make it." Having good faith is better than being bitter but it doesn't mean I'm just going to smile and let people trample upon me to the point that I'll lose my self-respect. I have too much patience but there is always that fine line that flashes a red light when you're already crossing the line or going overboard and I won't hesitate to claim that right and shout "foul." I can be nice (even way too nice in fact) but when my patience snaps never tell me that I didn't warn you. But don't worry there's still that little signage flashing over my head that says "be good anyway."
